WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.

SO LONG, FAREWELL...

The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Thursday, May 22, 2008

to protect and serve...who?


I hate the police with a passion. I know hate is a strong word but they really just annoy the hell outta me, how bout that. I’ve yet to run across a cool police officer who I would want to be friends with, ask directions of, and God forbid I needed one to actually help me out of danger. I’d be SOL for real. I don’t know what it is about a uniform and a badge that makes the mf’er behind them act soooo cocky, smug, and all-around arrogant.

On the new job, I come in contact with sheriff’s deputies, court officers and police folk on the regular. And after only 3.5 days at it, I can say with confidence that my disdain for all manner of officers has grown by leaps and bounds in this short time. This morning I so wanted to punch one in the face for making me ruin my most beautifulist, favorite suit of all time.

What had happened was this…

Each morning and afternoon, I attend bond hearings at the jail. My colleagues and I interview people who have been locked up in the last few hours to see if they qualify for our services and also to help get their bonds set as low as possible so their families can bail them out. Usually when we arrive at “the detention room”, the officers have not yet brought out the clients so we wait around and shoot the breeze until they come in. The officers will try to make conversation as if they’re human and we’ll try to be socialable while avoiding eye-contact.

Now at yesterday’s afternoon hearings, we arrived to find that the detention room was going to be the set of some movie in the near future. The Dirty South: America’s Most Disgusting Prisons. Ok, yeah I made that up but it works if you saw this place. Anyway, in preparation for filming, a crew was painting the ceiling of the detention room yesterday. So this morning when we arrived, the ceiling looked to be completed.

Once the clients were brought in, we go about our business, interviewing them trying to get everything done before the judge comes on. I’d finished with my two interviews and headed to the front to help organize the client folders and take care of last minute paperwork. As I leaned away from this little stage platform thingy, I realized realize that gray paint had now attached itself to my beloved seersucker suit. THE uniform of the southern lawyer.

Awww hell naw!

And as I turned around, the officers in the back laughed (literally laughed out loud) at my predicament. Apparently they were waiting for us unsuspecting fools to fcuk up our clothes against the wet paint. All told, they got a good laugh out of 4 people from my office before I put up a bootleg wet paint sign. And of course as we’re leaving out at the end of the hearings, one of the officers says, how bout that paint eh? I got it all over me yesterday. Snicker snicker.

Bastard. Would putting up a sign have been to much to ask of your ice-cold soul?

I hate cops!

p.s. any tips on getting latex paint outta cotton?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I use latex paint all the time and once it dries...there is no hope of getting it out. Sometimes when it is wet you can get it out right.

Dark & Stormy said...

"and we'll try to be socialable while avoiding eye-contact."

Is that possible? Lol. Girl I feel for you... I guess putting a laxative in the coffee wouldn't be a good look if you want to keep your job?

JayBee said...

you know that's a done deal. take them lawyer bucks and get another one. i can't stand the police either. they get on my nerves. always pulling me over for driving while black under the pretext of me speeding. sheesh!

mint julep said...

happy days are here again! i got the paint out. a little rubbing alcohol and a toothbrush.