I have had this topic in the back of mind for some time. Yet, the topic had been overtaken by events. And yet, when I saw the movie “Sex and the City” (don’t worry I won’t give it way to those of you who have yet to see the film) and the character Miranda didn’t give her husband any nookie in 6 months – I had a WTF moment. Get the fuck out of here. Why are you holding out giving him some? According to Miranda, her husband was a good lover and still attracted to her… well let’s just say shit happens and Miranda is dumbfounded by her husband’s actions – get the fuck out of here.
See ladies, Bellini believes you should give him some – and you wives know what kind of man you are married too. So, you know if you have a man who wants nookie all the time, just be’cuz, or whateva type he maybe. Now, Miranda’s excuse for not giving her man some was work? Huh? See, that lame ass excuse would have warranted no pity from me and believe me Carrie, Samantha, and Charlotte did not give her a pity party—and rightfully so. In case you are not aware, Miranda is a corporate attorney – so she utilized her occupation as a cop out. Ladies, who desire to be the kick-ass executive, doting wife, soccer mom, etc… If you want all those things, you must work hard at all those things. And you must be able to identify where you can slack off or if you can slack off? For me, once I’m a wife – I live by the creed home is where the heart is—thereby my husband, myself, etc. must all be happy.
Now, I understand we’re human, but you should never let your sanctuary become a foreign institution. I mean it. Bellini’s mama taught her well. My mother told me eons ago, that I would have to cook for my husband… and I got the message loud and clear and that is not an issue for me. Now , there are 3 F’s women are told to live by to keep their husband happy: Fuck him, Feed him, oops – I can’t think of the last F… but you get my point.
I ‘ve heard of that bull shit where women seek revenge on their man and opt to hold out and not give him some. Pick your battles wisely – ‘cuz that option might cause more drama in your home than it’s worth. Ladies we got it so give it and as long as he’s worth it – give him some!
cheers,
Bellini
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13 comments:
Bellini is keeping it real today. Big ups. Way up. Like the Sears Tower:)
preach girl preach! tis why i had to stop being a miranda in terms of occupation and start doing what made me happy so that when i do meet my husband, i'll be a happy person who can make him happy.
men don't hold out! if you don't give it to them, please believe they will find someone else even if they don't want to, they will.
Is the other 'f' shut the fcuk up? LOL! Um yeah in my dreams and imagination I see me and my huzband getting busy all over the house, other people's houses, the back of the Jeep, the entire city, on the plane, on a train... Whew. Ok let me stop. But throw in a job, deadlines, screaming baby, a toodler, some weight gain, hormonal changes, and things change. This isn't to say you shouldn't give your man some, but both people have to be realistic about the situation. Steve should have been opened his mouth and said, "baby, what's up? Do you need a vacation w/out little Brady? Can we make some time to get away?" Or he should have showed up at her office so they could have had a quickie. Or I needed more backstory. LOL!
LOL @ Gangsta D's Sears Tower! Love It!
I thought the other F was for Fold His Laundry. No? Is that too PG for this post? How about Fill is gas tank. Too Women's lib? Maybe Find his Baby's Mama? Yeah. No.
I also thought Flip his Salad but then I reasoned that you had covered that in the other Two Fs.
i aint never seen the tv show
and dont go to movies at all
Well put Ms. Bellini. Life is hard, life gets busy, but you better MAKE time to give your spouse some sexual healing. The best relationship in the world won't last without it. Mint Julep said it perfectly- men don't hold out. And I don't see me sticking with someone who's holding out on me. I got needs to be fulfilled too! Lol!
If a man's needs aren't met his desires will be. Using sex as a weapon by either gender is selfish.
PREACH! It goes both ways though.
@gangsta d: i try to keep it as gully as possible
@mint julep: i should have put out a disclaimer -- indicating you are not a Miranda (LOL) -- you do good work and keep on keepin' on
@Rum Punch:where do i start with you? LOL. Girl, breath... 1 to the 2... please spare me the overanalysis it doesn't suit you well-- if you love him and he is your priority you will figure that shit out. The babies -- and maybe you shouldn't have babies (plural, get my drift). As for your career, you and your husband must have that conversation prior to marriage and to all ladies-- figure out what your career means to you now and what derivatives of your career can take place while still maintaining happiness. Don't be trying to figure shit out once you become Mrs. --- figure it out beforehand. Rum Punch, this is a whole 'notha post--so i'm done with you for now!
@amaretto: crazy lady, don't worry 'bout figuring out the last F-- focus on bringing closure on selecting a water cooler manufacturer. LOL
@t.stephens: don't worry about the show/movies plot-- it's irrelevant at this point, although the plot around the central character presented a good lesson about life and relationships; perhaps i'll dwell on that another day... stay tuned...
@dark 'n' stormy: you're right girl. the whole point about givin' him some is so you can get you some!
@cinco: you're on to something -- we might have to explore that for another post too.
@skoolboi crush: good for you for acknowledging the other half of the equation. yes indeedy- women have needs and it takes a caring, sensitive man to please his woman
@ Bellini - But is it over analysis or is it life? It's easy for us single women to be like 'girl give him some' because we are wearing are single girl glasses. But put on the married woman glasses and try to see what the other person is living. That was my point. Sure, we can have these convos w/ our future husband, but the truth is that you don't know what's going to happen until it happens. I remember an older woman telling me that she felt that every woman had been "raped" in a sense because women have sex with their husbands when they really didn't want to, to make the man happy and satisfied. A bit extreme? Yes. But does it happen? Yes. I also remember about 7 years ago mentioning to my mother that I was celibate and she said, "me too girl. With this menopause I don't know when the last time me and your daddy had s.e.x." Ewwwww...But also realization that sometimes the sex fades, not forever, but maybe for awhile. It might ebb and flow. What I was going to say in my first post but it was getting long like this one, was about making time together, intimacy, enjoying each other, sexual but sometimes not sexual. And meeting each other's needs in different ways. Yes, you should be on the same page about the important things beforehand, but also when things surprise you in the time that you're in and there will be surprises, you have to figure out how you're going to work it out together in the moment. You can't be like let me go to our Pre-marriage handbook-nigga you said you was gonna lick my pussy every Tuesday.
Oh, Rum Punch - you crack me up 'cuz i know you and where you're coming from. Well, what i will say that your partner is supposed to be truly be your friend. Not just a good lover -- alot of us settle only for a good lover. Ladies after each of you bust your nuts then what --both of you need pillow talk and some more stuff to get through the hours. Just remember that. Anyhoo, he should be your friend first 'cuz i think when all else fails the friendship should be able to get you through the rough patches. Remember, marriage should be about the person you wouldn't mind going through the rough times with -- his character, endurance, faith, the love for you. Shit, we're getting too deep and we're on the brink of the weekend -- let's keep it light for the next 36 hours.
cheers folks!
I'm married (with no kids) and I agree with Rum Punch! Life happens. Shit slows down. Schedules conflict. There are ebbs and flows (like Rum said) in ALL relationships. When it's ebbing??? UGH, it sucks! But when it's flowing??? HEEEEEEEEEEY! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!!
That's life. mrmeany and I are both mature enough to discuss things that are on our minds (sexually, financially, socially, etc.) COMMUNICATION IS KEY!!!
My husband isn't Steve and I'm DAMN SURE not Miranda! SIX months of "forgetting" to have sex because she's soo busy? NO-SIR! That's not an EBB! That's a relationship TSUNAMI!!! No good can come out of THAT for either party involved...
(and from the LOOKS of it, she "forgot" to do some personal grooming too!! AWWWW, DAMN!!!)
If you're married, definately give it up; but being single, sex is not a requirement; although guys will say it should be.
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