When I was in high school I was deathly afraid of getting pregnant. While the thought still gives me chills since I’m still a ms. and not a mrs., I’d probably be able to handle it a little better now on the off-chance or freak accident that I did get preggers. Few things in life are guaranteed but one thing I know for sure is that you won’t catch mint julep saying out her mouth, damn ya’ll I’m pregnant, I can’t believe it, as a friend of mine said a couple weeks ago.
Like really, you don’t know how you got pregnant? Putting to one side the mechanics of the thing, how can one really be shocked that they end up pregnant in this day and age? Especially one who has been pregnant multiple times before. Now I’m not one to judge, well actually I am, silently in my head, but that’s neither here nor there. I’ve definitely been guilty of partaking of the goodness without a barrier, but I don’t make this a practice, especially not with someone who’s status I don’t know.
We are deep in the age of deadly STDs. AIDS ain’t new and syphilis, gonorrhea and herpes are running rampant especially in our communities. While he may not look like he got something, it stands to reason that with all these babies being born, there gots to be a whole lot of people going raw.
Mississippi gotdamn!
Although I’m technically celibate errr…again, I keeps my condoms (magnums, a girl can dream) handy and a supply of the morning after pill easily accessible. With all these implements at your disposal, you can’t tell me you surprised that you knocked up. Like mama julep say, “You can’t shit the shitter!”
Or she’d say, after I’d casually mentioned to her that so and so was pregnant or so and so had had another baby, “I don’t know why this girls [pregnant pause] be letting these NIGGAS, screw ‘em wit out a condom.” Then she’d lean in close, look me directly in the eye and say, “I know you want to have fun, get yo rocks off, but you betta MAKE these NIGGAS wear a condom, hell you don’t know what they got.”
Oh how me and my sister would be dying from laughter on the inside. Yet I wonder if and wish that more of my contemporaries had gotten the same straight talk from they mamas or thought more of themselves to listen during sex ed or figure it out along the way. For instance, at a gathering of some high school classmates recently, I was amazed at how many of the young ladies (and men) had babies and the size of some folks families. I could count on one hand how many are married or even engaged or even still wit baby daddy #1. Their kids are finishing elementary school while mine aren’t even a twinkle in their daddy’s eye. Hell, I’m not even a twinkle in their daddy’s eye, at least I don’t think. Tee hee.
I know children are a blessing. My niece is a gift who I can’t imagine my life without. But still. The paradigm has definitely shifted. I’m the unicorn in the room not just because I have no children but also because of my thoughts on the subject.
Like really, you don’t know how you got pregnant? Putting to one side the mechanics of the thing, how can one really be shocked that they end up pregnant in this day and age? Especially one who has been pregnant multiple times before. Now I’m not one to judge, well actually I am, silently in my head, but that’s neither here nor there. I’ve definitely been guilty of partaking of the goodness without a barrier, but I don’t make this a practice, especially not with someone who’s status I don’t know.
We are deep in the age of deadly STDs. AIDS ain’t new and syphilis, gonorrhea and herpes are running rampant especially in our communities. While he may not look like he got something, it stands to reason that with all these babies being born, there gots to be a whole lot of people going raw.
Mississippi gotdamn!
Although I’m technically celibate errr…again, I keeps my condoms (magnums, a girl can dream) handy and a supply of the morning after pill easily accessible. With all these implements at your disposal, you can’t tell me you surprised that you knocked up. Like mama julep say, “You can’t shit the shitter!”
Or she’d say, after I’d casually mentioned to her that so and so was pregnant or so and so had had another baby, “I don’t know why this girls [pregnant pause] be letting these NIGGAS, screw ‘em wit out a condom.” Then she’d lean in close, look me directly in the eye and say, “I know you want to have fun, get yo rocks off, but you betta MAKE these NIGGAS wear a condom, hell you don’t know what they got.”
Oh how me and my sister would be dying from laughter on the inside. Yet I wonder if and wish that more of my contemporaries had gotten the same straight talk from they mamas or thought more of themselves to listen during sex ed or figure it out along the way. For instance, at a gathering of some high school classmates recently, I was amazed at how many of the young ladies (and men) had babies and the size of some folks families. I could count on one hand how many are married or even engaged or even still wit baby daddy #1. Their kids are finishing elementary school while mine aren’t even a twinkle in their daddy’s eye. Hell, I’m not even a twinkle in their daddy’s eye, at least I don’t think. Tee hee.
I know children are a blessing. My niece is a gift who I can’t imagine my life without. But still. The paradigm has definitely shifted. I’m the unicorn in the room not just because I have no children but also because of my thoughts on the subject.
10 comments:
LOL! Ahhh yes, I have gotten the "you ain't got no kids?!?" question filled w/ stare and incredulity. And then the follow-up "why not?" I have an aunt, never married w/ no kids, who usually responds, "do you see a ring on my finger?" More incredulity. Marriage before babies: a foreign concept. I really think this is going to be a serious issue for black folk (and maybe all folk as society shifts and changes) in years to come cause I only see the chasm growing wider with baby mamas/daddies on one side and wives/huzbands on the other...And single women in the middle, crying out, why come no one will marry me? And no I don't want to just pop out a baby! HA!
sadly enough, alot of parents ain't keepin' real with the chil'ren or the chil'ren got issues and need therapy and ain't gettin' none...black folks need therapy: young and old -- there are too many represeed feelings and issues that are being manifested as children unfortunately imo
raw feels good
but wisdom should superceed the flesh
I like that your mom kept shit real with you. I TOTALLY can appreciate that. My mom kinda didn't. She did what HER mom did to her (and probably what HER mammy did to her)--send out subliminal messages, subtle hints and secret codes about sex without actually SAYING the word s-e-x!!! I laugh about it now, but I really felt badly that she couldn't even have an "open" discussion with her daughter about sex! I knew that she was uncomfortable about the topic (having a conversation that YOU'RE uncomfortable having with someone who is just as uncomfortable is just...UNCOMFORTABLE to say the least!), so the talks that we DID have were "limited". I figured it all out...eventually.
IF I ever have kids, I will break the cycle!!!!I'm a REAL TALK kinda chick, so the kids that I'm not sure that I'm gonna have are GOING to know all that their MAMA knows about sex!It's a MUST in this day and age!
Bless your mama! She is the truth. I thank God for having a mom who kept it real with me from jump and still does... Moms brought condoms home when I was a teen and was like "let me show how to use this". She said fcuk birth control, protect your LIFE. One of my most valuable lessons ever. Now I'm only human- I've slipped up in the past. But I'm too old for that shit now. And like you said, ain't no reason for such "surprises" this day in age. If you have to piss on the stick, you already know what you done did. Great post ms. julep ;)
Rum punch, your aunt sounds like me. I say the same thing. "I have an aunt, never married w/ no kids, who usually responds, "do you see a ring on my finger?""
Just to let you know, magnums are about %15 larger than regulars. That means they go from 7.5" long to 8.625" and 1.75" wide to 2.0125" wide.
The fact is that a lot of parents do not talk about sex to their kids and that�s sad, however sometimes that doesn't make a difference. Just like your friend said she can't believe that she is pregnant is that same invincible belief that people in general have. No one believes there shit stinks until they are in a tough situation. As you've said yourself after your mommy gave you that great speech both you and your sister have "partaking of the goodness without a barrier". Lets remember people it only takes once or else Maury wouldn't be my favorite show when I'm home from work.
@Bellini -- Really
@ rum, folks just don't seem to care who they create life wit and what that means for the child. Maybe more on that in another post.
@gangsta d, mama julep would be proud.
@Bellini, therapy is always good but home training and moral values goes a long way too!
@torrance, amen brother amen!
@mrsmeany, I have no doubt you will straight talk your kids regarding sex. Any plans on when we might see a bun in the oven? Tee hee.
@D&S, exactly! What I wanted to say to her was, Girl you knew you was pregnant when he didn't pull his no comdom wearing ass out stop playin! Haha.
@kamakula, yes I'd heard that. Interesting.
@Ms. Philly, of course we all slip up but my point is you know when you slip up and there and ways to take care of your slip ups instead of having baby after baby when you not married. Enough is enough.
I totally agree. I am the same way about the whole pregancy thing. My class reniuon is next year, but I hear or see all the time my classmates with families and the same situations you stated.
“You can’t shit the shitter!”...LMAO I might have to use that one.
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