asleep in sex education

When I was in high school I was deathly afraid of getting pregnant. While the thought still gives me chills since I’m still a ms. and not a mrs., I’d probably be able to handle it a little better now on the off-chance or freak accident that I did get preggers. Few things in life are guaranteed but one thing I know for sure is that you won’t catch mint julep saying out her mouth, damn ya’ll I’m pregnant, I can’t believe it, as a friend of mine said a couple weeks ago.

Like really, you don’t know how you got pregnant? Putting to one side the mechanics of the thing, how can one really be shocked that they end up pregnant in this day and age? Especially one who has been pregnant multiple times before. Now I’m not one to judge, well actually I am, silently in my head, but that’s neither here nor there. I’ve definitely been guilty of partaking of the goodness without a barrier, but I don’t make this a practice, especially not with someone who’s status I don’t know.

We are deep in the age of deadly STDs. AIDS ain’t new and syphilis, gonorrhea and herpes are running rampant especially in our communities. While he may not look like he got something, it stands to reason that with all these babies being born, there gots to be a whole lot of people going raw.

Mississippi gotdamn!

Although I’m technically celibate errr…again, I keeps my condoms (magnums, a girl can dream) handy and a supply of the morning after pill easily accessible. With all these implements at your disposal, you can’t tell me you surprised that you knocked up. Like mama julep say, “You can’t shit the shitter!”

Or she’d say, after I’d casually mentioned to her that so and so was pregnant or so and so had had another baby, “I don’t know why this girls [pregnant pause] be letting these NIGGAS, screw ‘em wit out a condom.” Then she’d lean in close, look me directly in the eye and say, “I know you want to have fun, get yo rocks off, but you betta MAKE these NIGGAS wear a condom, hell you don’t know what they got.”

Oh how me and my sister would be dying from laughter on the inside. Yet I wonder if and wish that more of my contemporaries had gotten the same straight talk from they mamas or thought more of themselves to listen during sex ed or figure it out along the way. For instance, at a gathering of some high school classmates recently, I was amazed at how many of the young ladies (and men) had babies and the size of some folks families. I could count on one hand how many are married or even engaged or even still wit baby daddy #1. Their kids are finishing elementary school while mine aren’t even a twinkle in their daddy’s eye. Hell, I’m not even a twinkle in their daddy’s eye, at least I don’t think. Tee hee.

I know children are a blessing. My niece is a gift who I can’t imagine my life without. But still. The paradigm has definitely shifted. I’m the unicorn in the room not just because I have no children but also because of my thoughts on the subject.

I'm So Over It

Is it November yet?

My zeal and excitement of counting down the days of Baby Bush’s tyrannical reign is waning under vacant messages of hope, change and tears flowing on cue. Argh! I guess because I don’t feel like anyone is representing the issues of a 20-something black female, somewhat addicted to retail, trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents (a dime and a nickel), I’m not feeling this election thing right now.

But seriously, I want to know if HillBilly is operating on the platform that it isn’t a lie if they believe it? I mean how in da heezy is Hills going to claim that she went to Bosnia, with her curly headed child, and was greeted under a hail of gunshots? Has Hills forgotten about the miracle that is television and its bastard child of everlasting videotape? Hmmmm. Maybe she’s thinking it’s 1808, back when a politrickian could deceive the masses and no one could raise their hand to object…you know the good ole days, when evidence was hard to come by. And when folks called her on the BS all she could say is “My Bad” and shrug her shoulders! Pimpin’! But still, WTF?! You want me to make you my President? Hills you can never look at Bracky O sideways again. Ever!

But the Clintons fight to da death. Do ya’ll remember Celebrity Deathmatch on MTV? Oh that show was terrible. Hated it! Besides I truly believe the Playdoh was meant only for eating by five year olds, not sculpting things. But sadly, that show is where my mind wanders to when Bracky and Hills start go at each other, somebody spewing blood in this corner, someone wishin’, and hopin’, and prayin’ in the other.

And speaking of death... This past weekend my aunt showed the family an email about what happens when you are a friend of the Clintons and you want to call them on their shit. 47 people dead. Wow. I’m just wishing I knew 47 people. There were of course varying causes of death, but most folks had gunshot wounds to the back of their heads. Now initially we were like, naw this ain’t true. But my aunt is a police officer and was able to look up the particulars on one of the cases that occurred in her jurisdiction. The death was ruled a suicide, but the media didn’t get the memo from the police report that someone heard several gunshots before the man jumped to his death. Sure my aunt could be lying for giggles sake...but I don't think she was.

All I can say is Pobrecito Guillermo Richardo. Protect your neck! His endorsement clearly has ruined his friendship with HillBilly, no more Superbowl parties! 47 people prove to me that the Clintons ain’t playin!

But alas, whatever will become of this election thing will be. It’s just hard for me to believe things will be so much more different with Grampa, Hills or Bracky running things…at least on my everyday working, is there still a middle-class and am I part of it, level. I do know that for right now, I just want this all to be over…



Sorry, had to groove to Miss Keyshia for a minute.

See You In Seven

is the truth un-american?

I remember the first time I heard of Rev. Jeremiah Wright. it was in a college classroom. I can't remember whether the course was The Higher Education of Black Women or this philosophy course on the existence of God on in my required freshman psuedo-history-sociology-english class called African Diaspora & the World, or ADW for the initiated. I just remember finding him fascinating, along with his mentor James Cone, for they respectively espoused and developed black liberation theology. illuminating the life of Jesus and my Christian faith as a liberating force for the world's oppressed instead of an oppressive doctrine wielded by the world's slave holders and colonizers alike.

so when I hear most commentators call Rev. Wright every thing but a child of God, I want to get on top of my desk and shout from the top of my lungs....

hoe sit down!

where were you people when the history lessons were being handed out? I will give you that the average high school history class isn't exactly enlightening. my h.s. teacher tried to indoctrinate us with what we needed to know for that AP U.S. history test but was shocked and amazed when I attempted to question her on slavery (the real version) and why the Marcus Garvey back to Africa movement wasn't part of our lesson. she had no words. So I'll let them slide...on h.s. history. but nothing in college, either? this is why my kids will go to an hbcu.

so I was history major and I took more history courses than the average bear but at my school every woman had to take ADW. and as much as some of us moaned and groaned, ask any alumna about the pedagogy of the oppressed and she'll be able to tell you a little something. we learned about European colonization from a world perspective and about African civilizations more advanced than I had been lead to believe possible. maybe that's why I agree with Rev. Wright cause I knows my history!

I know how this country rounded up the Japanese and forced them into internment camps during world war II. and how INS officials took similar actions after September 11th. how doctors experimented with the black male body at tuskegee. so don't tell me about how America is righteous and innocent, that it doesn't commit human rights violations like a third world country, "build[] bigger prisons, passe[] a three-strike law" and then you don't understand how Rev. Wright would be hesitant to sing God Bless America.

I need william jelani cobb to swoop in and break it down for these folks. and I wish they knew just how common Rev. Wright's sentiments are among Black people (that I know). not just my mama and grandmama nem but me a 27-year old college-educated graduate-degree-having attorney who works in corporate america and among the whitest of white folks on a daily basis. yes, I may smile hello but I regularly refer to you caucasians as whitey among my closest friends. and they aren't offended. am I a racist? I'll be that. my white friends know where I stand and they understand from whence I come. maybe they got those critical history courses in college too.

as for barack...I don't know, I really don't. I think brother believes deep in his heart in the almighty goodness of america. as one drop over at too sense blog alluded to, I fear that he's headed for some sort of breakdown or great awakening. as it's been expressed by so many Black people, there is a skepticism about whether white america will only let him get so far before they break him down. hell, they already doin it. and then you hear this speech that folks are calling historic mere moments after the words have left his lips. words and their delivery which, according to the nytimes, brought julian bond to tears. An ability to articulate in ways that we publicly have never heard before on cable news networks even though the focus remains on the points about rev. wright instead of his points about america's racist legacy and the lasting effects of slavery and I begin to wonder. can't we steal him back for ourselves? you know in the way that Oprah, Cosby and other influential black people allegedly snatched up dave chappelle in the middle of the night and showed him the error of his ways.

it seems such a waste for him to be so committed to america, so hopeful when as time rolls on the ruling powers, people and institutions of america aren't committed to him, his race, or his ideals in the same way.

"chickens are coming home to roost"

This is a great line from an excerpt of Revered Jeremiah Wright’s sermons at the Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago. The quote is a metaphor in many ways, although the Reverend’s reference was to American foreign policy it captures the outlook of race in this country in context of the 2008 presidential race. It’s like the big ass blue elephant is in the room – we all see it –yet praying that the behemoth of a creature doesn’t move. Frankly, I’m not sure what all the brouhaha is all about stemming from the Pastor’s comments – he didn’t lie about anything that was said. And I’ve tried to find sentiments from average Joe’s about their feelings of the Pastor’s comments and I’ve found nothing – although I haven’t looked hard enough either. So, it has led me to believe that this is the media’s beef. Yes, mainstream media has issue with the Pastor’s comments. I believe their direct beef is the word un-American – Americans take offense to when the word is used – you hit’em in the jugular…
Aaahhhh. . . but then the assumption being made is that black folks are not American.

White folks those of you who are only aware of an America that looks like you, talks like you, and does the things you do – you are doing yourselves a disservice about what is American. If you choose to dismiss or marginalize black existence, then you have your own issues you need to deal with on a personal level. In the clips that aired on “Meet the Press” , the Pastor channeled the energy felt by many blacks due to feelings of despair, hopelessness, etc… He discussed the issues plaguing black men (crime, incarceration, etc…) and its tangible effects on the black family / community. It appears the mainstream media could not identify with the Pastor’s remarks.
So is it un-American not to espouse the same views held by the mainstream or yet who deems what is American and do they have that right?
Which one came first the chicken or the egg?

I will say I am a lil’ disappointed by black folks and the black media for not engaging in the tête-à-tête with the mainstream media over their callous characterization of the Pastor’s remarks. It was a classic case of letting others frame your own issues – and that is a big NO NO in Bellini’s book. Think about it.
What could the media have countered about the factual information stated in the sermon?

Whether or not you like Obama and what he stands for – you have to give him credit for speaking about America’s ugly truths. Where most would have tried to dodge and run, he stood there and addressed issues. And frankly, we need that. It’s not enough to discuss issues in the barbershop, beauty shop, in the church devoid of others – where our concerns never reverberate beyond our communities. I give the speech an A-. For one, he was brave and courageous to hold a press conference on race. Two, he brought back the historical context many Americans choose to ignore including the systemic acts/actions taken to preclude blacks from opportunities and their lingering effects. Thirdly, and I haven’t seen black folks step up on the plate on this one – he reminded black folks that not all whites in America are embroiled in the historical legacy of slavery in this country. There are many whites that are immigrants and their asses are struggling too. The speech was reality check 101. I’m not sure where we go from here, but for him it was commendable and speaks volumes to me about how he demonstrates leadership.

cheers,

Bellini