Tryin to Make a Dollar Outta Seven Cents

For a small piece of paper it carries a lot of weight

Call it lean, mean, mean green

Almighty dollar

I know money is the root of all evil

Do funny things to some people

Give me a nickel, brother can you spare a dime

Money can drive some people out of their minds

- For the Love of Money, Ojays

Times are a bit hard right now. People of every race, creed, and socio-economic status are feeling the sting of the our economy's current state. The "experts" have finally admitted what us regular folks' pockets told us months ago: we're in a recession.

My dollars just ain't stretchin' like they used to. And I am quite the expert at making a small amount of my money work big for me. Clipping coupons, shopping at discount retail outlets, carpooling, and conserving energy (to keep utility costs low) are just a few of the budget savers that I incorporated into my daily life long ago to help me hold on to a few extra dollars. But the tricks of the trade aren't paying off like they used to. There's a global food shortage crisis, gas prices are effin' expensive, the national unemployment rate recently increased at a record rate, our nation is in humongous debt and we're being taxed everywhere to help re-pay it. And if I hear about one more celebrity going into foreclosure... Like I give a damn! I'm a hard working thousandaire trying to pay my own mortgage on time. I could care less about Britney Spears or Ed McMahon losing their mansions.

The bottom line is I don't need Dow Jones to tell me that the almighty dollar ain't what it used to be. The only thing mean these days is just how lean the green is. You know the saying about desperate times... It's only a matter of time before you start seeing clips of folks brawling at the gas station. A couple of days ago, I saw two women buck at each other over who arrived first and who's turn it was to pump their gas. It was not pretty. Watching them made me ask myself how has this weak ass dollar affected me and my everyday life?

• No more specialty shower gels and bubble baths. They are not cheap and never have been. A bar of soap will clean me just the same. I shall leave it to the lotion to make my skin soft.


• No more paying bills by mailing in payment. Stamps add up, quickly. And they just went up another cent. Online bill payment is quick, easy, environmentally friendly, and FREE.


• Only buying food for one or two meals at a time. I realized how much food I waste on a weekly basis because I could not eat it fast enough before it went bad. Being a single housewife on the run, I don't spend a lot of time at home. I started buying 8 eggs vs. 12, smaller sized milk cartons, 2 apples instead of 4, etc...


• No more cover charges to enter a club or lounge. This has always been a personal rule of thumb, but I was willing to bend it if I felt that a specific occasion or event was worth it. Today, none of them are worth it. If there is a cover, I will party somewhere else.


• Making bus transfers. I don't own a car, so riding the train and bus is part of daily life. The bus is $1.25; when you board you get paper (or electronic) transfer that is valid for two hours of riding. I take an expired transfer with the current date and glue it on top of a transfer from a past date that has more "time" on it. Thus allowing me to ride all day without paying the all day fee ($3.00). Yes it's illegal, so don't tell nobody.


• Happy Hour chez Dark & Stormy. If me and the ladies are hitting the town for a night of fun, I get the party started at home. One drink at the club = a six pack at home. And my chicken wings taste better than theirs anyway. By the time I arrive to our destination, I'm ready for a coke and a dance.

The Ojays said don't let money change you. Always easier said than done.

Has the lean green changed your ways at all?

Tumultuously Yours,

Dark & Stormy