WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Thursday, March 19, 2009

when flirting with white boys goes horribly wrong

way back in the day when the 5 spot was a wee lil blog, i pondered love across the color line. and after all the laughs and the backlash, i started thinking why not keep my eye out for a white guy who i could even think about entertaining the possibility of actually flirting with in hopes that we might go out on a date. baby steps, my friends, baby steps

so while i didn't start hanging out at any frat parties or sign up for web based love connections, i did become less discriminating, departing from my personal brown paper bag test. i eased into it with a few light skinneded brothas. but as with all new things, there have been a few bumps in the road.

*enter wildly amusing story about my weekend shenanigans*

on saturday night i was out and about with some friends playin my role as the token black girl. if i'm painting a picture of the bar scene, it'd be something like where's waldo with me as waldo and everyone else as white folks. but no biggie, i was "trying different things...sipping whiskey out the bottle not thinkin' bout tomorrow, singin' sweet home alabama all night long."

while giggling and laughing with the girls, we are approached by a group of guys who strike up a convo. and one of them seemed to be particularly interested in ms. julep. since i'm generally clueless whenever ANY man approaches me, it wasn't till he started leanin in and touchin a sista's arm that the needle slid off the record player in my mind....scrreeeeeech.

lookie here. white boy got the feva! i started really listening to what he was saying and took a better look at him. he had all my white boy requirements:

pure-d white boy- check
smelled good- check
smooth chest (discovered in our convo on how he was stabbed in the back by a rouge mexican) - check
owned a successful business - check
really wanted a piece of chocolate covered mint julep - check
pretty close to brody-grade looks - check

thinking back i don't even remember his name. but we talked for a good lil while and i ended the evening my giving him my business card. i left feeling proud of myself for doing my part to heal the racial wounds of yesteryear.

fast forward to monday morning when i find the following gem of an email in my inbox:

Hello. I'm really sorry to email you. I didn't want to call. I've never had to do this before and I will keep this short but please be honest with me.

I found your business card in my fiance's pants yesterday doing laundry. He told me he was in Cleveland for the weekend but I see your from [city nowhere near Cleveland].
So could you tell me where you met him?, was he in [city nowhere near Cleveland]?

and did anything happen or did you guys have sex?

Sorry to ask, I just need to know.

Thanks so much.
[name changed to protect crazy stalker fiance]

*blank stare*

damn crazy stalker fiance damn

*blank stare*

what to do, what to do? something in her desperate semi-pathetic email tugged at my sisterly heartstrings. crazy stalker fiance definitely needs a dose of reality. clearly mr. man has stepped out on her before if the first thing her mind goes to when she finds my business card in his pocket is sex. twasn't like i wrote "thanks for the nice ride cowboy" on the back. not to mention that mr. man wasnt' no where near cleveland this weekend. and i don't buy for one minute that you've never had to do this before crazy stalker fiance. but the lies that you tell yourself are your business.

i ended up sending her a short and sweet "aint-shit-happen-but-you-need-to-check-your-lying-ass-not-in-cleveland-man" email. i did my duty without sliding too deep into their jacked-up sitchy-achun (c) mrs. meany. and crazy stalker fiance was "grateful".

Thanks you so much. I feel better. I figured it was innocent but I've had problems with him before and didn't feel good about it. Thanks for the reply. I really appreciate it!!

[crazy stalker fiance]

i had a good laugh about the whole thing but it kinda made me sad. men "aint shit but hoes and tricks." ok not REALLY but really! spending the weekend in a whole nother city than what you told your fiance is foul.

and women are crazy as hell. ok not REALLY but really! who sends an email confronting another woman over a business card. not used condoms or steamy text messages. but a business card. crazy doesn't even describe it.

what say you?


Anonymous said...

LMAO....men are men.... good ones and trife ones of all races and cultures....and insecure women who don't trust their S/O's engage in that type of fuckery LOL

Anonymous said...

I don't understand the fiance's (or women like her)logic? What was she gonna do if you had in fact slept with him? Leave him? I doubt it... Especially seeing how he's engaged in questionable behavior in the past and she is still planning to marry him... SMDH

MrsMeany said...

I agree with BOTH Anonymous comments. My problem with the MAIN CHICK finding the OTHER CHICK'S number is: why are you calling HER? You should be all up in your man's face! The other chick 99.9% of the time has NO idea that YO man is creeping (or trying to creep)...
WOMEN, WAKE UP!!!! Direct your ire at the person that deserves it: YO MAN!

JayBee said...

you can't apologize for peeps who can't resist what u throwin' down. i think u handled ole girl appropriately.

Bellini said...

@mint julep: first Amaretto, now you -- girl i'm speechless again; the 5spot needs to chitchat!

Anonymous said...

WOW! This is classic.

NG said...

Oh. Em. Gee. What if that card had belonged to some really important networking contact for him and then the stupid fiance screwed it up by emailing them that crazy message? AND(!) I can't believe she went into that much detail in her initial email, WTF? If you ask me, I think the "Mexican" who stabbed his ass was the fiance.

mint julep said...

@ anon1, so true. all trife men "aint shit but hoes and tricks" lol

@ anon2, good point. maybe she was gon show up at my job. hehe

@ mrsmeany, amen sista amen!

@ jaybee, thanks brotha. i try i try.

@ bellini, gurl we shole do.

@ anon3, yes indeed.

@ NG, excellent point. she was all types of wrong.

Inter Racial Dating said...

I am quite confused on what does the situation talks about. does it concerns about race or what? However, may this things be cleared out...