brown sugar is one of my all-time fav movies. once you get pass the corny and oft-repeated metaphor that hip-hop = syd & dre's love for each other, it's a great romantic comedy for the ybf crowd. i love watching the tension between syd and dre as they each try to find love with someone else when they know that they are meant for each other. i never understood how a man and a woman who are such good friends decide that for the sake of their friendship they can't be together romantically. i personally feel that the best love relationships are built on great friendships because when things start to sag and your physical desires for each other wane, you need the friendship and mutual respect to keep you goin.
i happened upon a psuedo syd and dreover at the cosbykids blog the other day. two of the bloggers on the site also happen to be platonic male and female friends. they recently made their cases about how men and women can be platonic friends, why they are "just friends" and how they could never be together.
he said:
she said
For those who do not know, Denise is my best friend in real life. We have been best friends since around 2005…Denise is my source of mental encouragement, support, and rejuvenation…Denise can always tell me how a woman feels, and I can use this when dating. Also, when I am sick, Denise always babies me to make me feel better. Denise can tell me what I look nice in and what I don’t, help me pick out cologne, and when my homeboy does not want to hear it, be the shoulder that I can whine and complain too …I expect a lifelong friendship with Denise, and I am not willing to jeopardize that. I am totally different as a boyfriend than I am as a friend…
After this conversation, we were inseperable. It’s almost an indescribable relationship/friendship. To try to explain our friendship would not do it justice. Like Bud stated, we finish each other’s sentences, Bud’s shoulder is my hankie. There is very little that we don’t know about each other. In addition, on average Bud and I converse at least four times a day…With all of this being said, and now that you have a complete picture of our friendship, I can now address Bud’s frivolous article from yesterday. Sorry to play devils advocate – but Bud, cut the crap! For Bud to say that he has never thought about us as more than friends would be an omission of truth. Men naturally suppress their feelings….As Bud will be the Best Man at my wedding, and I, the flower girl at his. ... I can only hope that the person God places in my life, my better half, is as equally great as Bud.…I can only hope that the person God places in my life, my better half, is as equally great as Bud.these are just snippets from their general arguments. and who am i to argue with folks expressing they feelings. but as i have said time and again, it's nearly impossible for men and women to be platonic friends. one of the two is gonna have more feelings than the other. one is gonna wish and hope that one day they could be more than friends and they are just biding their time until it happens or they are horribly and unbelievably devastated by the other when they marry someone else, like Reese or fine ass Kelby Dawson.
it may take a while but if you're such good a friends as alladat (c) rum punch, if you're each other's go to person in a crisis (spouse or significant other be damned) then y'all should at least take a stab at makin it work. syd and dre did. i love it when he's standing in the booth lookin at her longingly and he says "i don't wanna be friends no more" drops the phone and comes over for the embrace....
me thinks that these male/female best friends things usually up the same way. what say you?
5 comments:
This was a good post. In my experience, the females who are my friends now are either girls I had romantic interest in but they didnt or vice versa and slide right into the friend zone. But what gets me is the females who didn't want me in the beginning get all jelly once there is a woman in my life. There is def a miscommunication between both parties but a lot of times a guy is afraid to make that move either due to rejection in the past or because the female friend is quick to throw out the "oh please you're like a brother to me" and in the end no one wins...
Love the movie too.
Not all friendships even between the opposite sex are like Brown Sugar where both people are really inlove with each othre.
However I do agree with your sentiments... thats why my male friends have dwindled down to almost none LOL people wanting to get with me and its not mutual.
Either the attraction is always there or thru the course of friednship somebody started to feel some kind of way bout the other person.
Hey this is Denise from Cosby Kids-
Love the site! As everyone thinks I secretly love Bud, ha ha.
Denise
@Denise-Just based on MJ's post it reminds me of that dude that everyone knows is gay...except said dude himself. And uh, Bud loves you too. And if ya'll don't, I ask as I wonder is there going to be room for the people you are really suppose to be with?
@anon, you're right, not all friendships end up like syd and dre. if only life were like the movies always. but i dream in movies so...
@denise, thanks for coming over. i enjoy ya'll's blog and thot ya'll's back and forth was a great jumping off point for a post. come back soon.
@amaretto, good point...
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