The Worst of the Worse

Have you ever had one of those horrible, rotten, no-good, just awful years? The kind when month after month there seems to be another pound added to the amount you have to carry? It’s the type of year where you are tormented emotionally, financially and physically? And you just get to the point of wondering what did you do to deserve this?! Why is this happening to me and not them? 2005 was that year for me. A couple weeks ago I was talking to Rum Punch and something she said caused me to remember all the terribleness that was my 2005.

It started off pretty well-I got the good government job in January. Was told that my entry level position would be a gateway to bigger and better things… But then I met those who occupied the position…they had almost convinced me that my fate would be the same as theirs and I would be stuck where I was…for years!

Then in June I got into a car accident. Because I was operating on CP time I was running late for work, it was raining, I was speeding, hadn’t checked my tired pressure…and well coming off an exit I hit a puddle and hydroplaned into the guardrail. No one else was hit. As you can see I am alive to tell the tale. But my car was jacked up, I didn’t have money to get it fixed. Had to get familar with a life with a bus pass! : (

In October my grandfather died. He had been sick since June. Had a stoke. In and out of the hospital and rehabilitation centers. Since I had no car I took the train from DC to Newport News at least twice a month. I watched him get better, come home, get worse, go to the hospital. I watched my worried mother and grandmother do the best they could but they were helpless. He passed the day after I boarded the train back to DC.

In November, my college started filing paperwork to sue me for unpaid tuition. In 2000 my father wasn’t able to afford the price tag. I had to stop my education to join the working world. But my college wasn’t going to release my transcripts until I paid them the 25K I owed them…and they weren’t really trying to hear that “I ain’t got it dawg” excuse. Damn.

And really ya’ll there is a whole lot more that happened to me that year. I had a broken heart, almost had no place to live, continuously tried to make a dollar out of 15 cents… but I’m not trying to depress the masses. I’m just saying that while living my life now, I rarely think about the year that was 2005. Not saying that it was a blur, or I had forgotten, but I kind of chuckled while recalling those events, because they seem so distant to me now.

And today I was just thinking about the folks I know who are going through some really difficult times right now. Be it that they are not having the best year, or haven’t had the best years lately. They are wondering why this happening to them. Why they got to be broke, or sick, or divorced, or unemployed. Why their momma had to die, why they got to be the one getting sued...and I wish I knew the answer. But as they say, trouble don’t last always…and it’s true, it don’t. Now if someone told me that in 2005, I would have smiled politely and then turned around and rolled my eyes. But in 2009 I can say that things do get better. And I say that because I know from experience.

See You In Seven