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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

family feud...

A good friend of mine recently had her grandpa pass away.

It's been no secret that grandpa had money in the bank (six-figures). And Grandpa didn't want folks (kids) touching his money. His kids and grandkids made him aware that Uncle Sam would take the money, all pleads fell on deaf ears.

Apparently, the baby of the siblings (my friend's auntie) had access to the bank account. So my friend and her siblings assumed Auntie would dole out the money to her other 5 siblings (one of the siblings being my friend's mother). That hasn't happened yet. So to retaliate, my friend and her siblings including her mother will not see their cousin/neice graduate on Mother's Day and no the graduate is not a student at Howard to express their disdain for their Auntie. What the hell does that have to do with the graduate? NOTHING! I told my friend she is petty. And it's sad the way black folks let money get between them and fam.

I reminded her that it was grandpa's money. Grandpa earned the money, spent the money, and saved the money -- the way he saw fit. And yes, it would be like right for her Auntie to distribute the money equitably among her siblings, but she hasn't and legally isn't obligated to -- so let it go (cue Keyshia!) Ironically, the graduate is the first and youngest among the cousins to graduate. The graduate is also an only child. So, her accomplishements might not feel so grand without her family cheering her on. The graduate started college on time (after high school) and finished. None of them can claim that feat. That needs to be celebrated.

What has me so irritated about my friend and her siblings is that they already had plans for what to do with their mother's share. One desired french doors for her home, another was going to finish their basement, and the other was going to modernize their windows. Selfish, selfish, selfish. Ain't no one think, maybe we should set up an annuity for our Mama since she's of that age. Everybody was out for self. And I think that's exactly why Grandpa ain't give them shit! excuse my french

God bless the child that got it's own!




Amaretto said...

This is stupid! Everyone is wrong in this story except the graduate.

It's unfortunate how money can cloud family relations and split folks up.

After my grandfather passed, my mother's brothers tried to say she was stealing from my grandmother. I was ready to go to bat for her-like literally go get a bat and hurt them because they had hurt my mother, and even my grandmother so much. Everything is cool now, but I do give my uncles and their wives the side-eye sometimes.

Jade Ali El said...

lol..This post rings so true. The graduate should have her family there..it's only right. But, if the family is going to go and show out over the money at the graduation, then perhaps they should stay elsewhere.

When my grandparents passed, they left everything to my mother. My grandfather told my mom to keep everything. But she did the right thing and split everything down the middle with her sister. Even though her sister (my aunt) refused to even take care of her parents for two days (even when my mom paid her and her son to do so), while we were on vacay. SMH

Rum Punch said...

When I finished reading your post, the first thing that came to mind, was: why black folk need to write wills. For realz. This happens too many times. And granny is still alive - and they were still trying to get at that money? Uh negative son, negative!

Bellini said...

@ Amaretto: i know, and when i tried to enlighten my friend she coudldn't reason with that argument

@Jade Ali El: you're right the graduate should have her family there -- she's the innocenty bystander, however you might be right about folks showing out should just stay home; i have a feelin' my friend and her mother's mood may be on the foul side

@Rummy: girl, i told her that if she learns nothing else -- she and her siblings should draft wills and ensure their children don't go through the madness; and why proper accounting and accountability will give you peace of mind

@ ev'ry body: so folks, my friend called today askin' me if i can loan her something to wear to the graduation; and that her mom will travel but won't attend be'cuz she'll watch all the kids in the hotel room -- imo she's still FULL O' SHIT!; ironically my friend may not even have the vacation to travel

Courvoisier said...

Rummy even in situations where there is a will there is drama. When my grandmother past she had a will that evenly distributed the goods to my aunt and uncle. Yet somehow, a new will appeared after her death that was mysteriously dated during the time she was bed ridden and paralyzed on the right side of her body leaving everything to one person. Hmm... very fishy. Well fast forward 15 years later and the aunts and uncles are still contesting the will in court. Just sad.

Bellini said...

@courvoisier: that's downright crazy; unaccounted for paperwork can't just be poppin' out of a hat