that new new for you

"A NEW boyfriend has a way of putting into stark relief the pros and cons of a predecessor."
--catherine saint louis for the nytimes.

truer words ya'll, truer word. although ms. saint louis was using the joys and trials of relationships to illustrate the rising appeal of ulta, a less expensive alternative to cosmetics giant sephora, she really hit nail to head.

you know how you get done dealing with someone, but not really done mulling them over in your mind? you do the facebook check every few days. a lil twitter stalking. or as in the olden days, you lie in bed and go over every conversation you can remember. every moment ya'll spent together. dissecting each look, each word, each smile, each touch.

until that moment...

when you spring up in bed in the middle of the night
when you see them on the street in the light of newfound awareness of the wack factor
when you minding your own business at the bar and a fine ass walks up to you and says hello

until that moment right there when you say to yourself

WHAT.THE.FUCK.WAS.I.THINKING?

why was i so open. why did i think i was so in like (or love) with him. he wasn't even alladat. he was just a basic bitch (c) @lilduval.

when i had my moment a few months ago, it made me laugh. and now ever time i see dude i just chuckle (c) courvorsier deep in my soul.

now i'm not so much bitter or angry. but please believe, in the moment when it was done i was kinda mad and hurt. more so cause i like to be the one ending shit round these parts. nigga you don't leave me. i leave you first. i know, i'm conceited, i got a reason.

but here's what i know for sure. more likely than not, there will be a new boyfriend. not only because i'm the hotness but because men try to holla at anything and everything one will prolly try to holla at me at some point in the future. and when one such dude tries to holla, i may kinda like him. and he'll kinda like me and we'll become boo'd up. and undoubtedly the new boo will provide an opportunity for vivid contrast and comparison to the last. and so being an expectant optimistic girl in a pessimistic world, the possibility of the new makes me so aaa-cited!!! (c) ruby. for the good and for the bad. i'll know that old brand of bullshit when i see it a little sooner than the last time. and i'll savor the sweet way he calls just to talk to me about my day a little longer because the last dude didn't.

and that, my dears, is why forever gon be fun (c) cee-lo green.