WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Sky Blue?

So when you are a single 20 something going through life a lot of time is spent assessing your relationships with people. Well let me not speak for all 20 something kind, let me just speak for myself. I think I spend a lot of time thinking about my relationships with people. My friends, my parents and the men folk that I know. And it can be a confusing thing to say the least. I mean for most of my life I knew the was sky plain old blue, but now with age, experience, enlightenment and the changes and turnarounds I’ve gone through in life…I wonder is the sky just plain old blue? Is it maybe cyan, azure or cerulean? I’m finding that it’s the subtle differences that change everything!

So my philosophy on love and men folks got further messed up this weekend after Rum Punch and I saw
500 Days of Summer. It's was a cute quirky movie in which Boy meets Girl, and though the movie forewarns you that it is not a love story, I was still shocked when the plot twisted and turned to devastation. In the flick the Boy is all about love. He ascribed to the school that when you find that person, the ONE, then it will be clear and obvious and you’ll just know that this is the person for you. Rum Punch said that it was clear that he was smitten-smitten is such a nice word isn’t it? Anyways, the Girl, not so smitten. She wasn’t drinking the boy’s Kool-Aid. She wasn’t a believer in that mystic must be fate, love brought us together stuff…until. Until, through a series of events she becomes a believer because she finally knew what the boy was talking about-that when you meet that person, the ONE you just know.

Well ladies, and lone gentlemen this is where the confusion sets in, because as this movie imitated life the Boy truly felt that the girl was the one. He just knew it. But the girl was not immediately convinced. So what gives? How many of us have met a person and thought this could be it They could be the one? And so how are any of us supposed to know when the connection has been made or hasn’t been made? Which is part of the reason why my philosophy on love and men folks did not include these here today gone tomorrow type of feelings of love. In my mind it was all about partnership with a person who brought something to the table but could also make me laugh, but we’d mutually work towards the goal of making it in life. But this movie and people that I have recently let into my life all believe there should be feelings and a sort of knowing that This.Is.It! And I wonder Really?

And so begins the rocking of Ameretto’s little boat under a blue sky on blue water. Because I’ve heard the stories where the woman knew before the man spoke that he was the one and was willing to wait until he got the clue. Or that they both knew instantly. I’ve heard the stories about two friends getting together after years of just being friends. Two strangers, just strangers staring at each other from across the crowded room, and at the 50th Anniversary their single grandkids look on in awe and amazement, because things like that just don’t happen anymore. So how does the story of the one go? How should it go?

And it would be nice if this feeling of knowing really existed. And who am I to say that it doesn’t. If you could know before you put in the work that a relationship requires. I just have never felt that sense of knowing with anyone. And maybe foolishly or wisely I just thought knowing this person you just told things you never told anyone else was enough because certain love doesn’t exist. But maybe it does. And because it does, that’s the reason why I am single. As I sit here in my slowly rocking boat, I think maybe the sky is more cerulean than just blue, and love it just waiting for the right moment for me to get to know it.

See You In Seven

1 comment:

mint julep said...

as someone who saw 500 days and loved it let me start by saying that finding "the one" is different for everybody. i know that's cliche but it has to be true, b/c it's true for just about everything else in life. some find the one in they 20's, 50's or never ever in life.

that being said i think the problem for tom (guy in movie) was that he thought summer (girl in movie) was the one and she didn't. and that's where i think people get hung up. you might think he or she is the one but if they don't feel the same way bout you then it's a wrap. it has to be a mutual "thinkin he/she the one" or "the twos" perhaps is what ima start calling it. the two of you have to click together, mutually, at the same time. that clicking could come on first meeting in the hallway at your job, or having a fabulous 1st date that goes into the wee hours of the night or after years of knowing each other across the Hill (shouts to melody barnes).

at some point you both have to look at each other and be like ahhh, this feels nice, right, special, like home, mama's warm apple pie. but see tom felt that and was gushing over summer all through the movie. she didn't. and there is this part in the movie that i won't mention cause it would be a major spoiler but she basically breaks it down: you can't be saying/feeling that you met "the one" if that one is looking at somebody else.

"like sometimes u dont know
until u know
and then u know
that what u thought was right
wasnt" (c) rum punch