WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Monday, April 26, 2010

The List

Sometimes over the weekend I allow myself to watch a show I consider non-sense to give my over thinking mind a break, knowing that, all that is going to happen is that I end up thinking some more about something else. This weekend I watched "What Chilli Wants" and let's just say I won't be watching another episode unless somebody forces me to, after telling me every detail of the episode. I understand making some money from the show and match-maker chick pushing her book and match-making skills but I am just not interested. This whole searching for man topic is old and exhausting. I am not sure what is going on right now... whether this is a conspiracy for black men to get black women to lower their standards so they could get a black woman to give them the time of day or a major distraction from what really going on in the world. What IS this?! I am having a hard time understanding why this is the next issue under attack with our race. Are black women secretly taking over the world and therefore they need to start making us doubt ourselves in efforts to slow us down. I say bring the change if this is the case!

A big point in the show is this list that Chilli has and how her man needs to meet most of them. The discussion of list always cracks me up and I am not even quite sure where this list idea came from in general. It made me think, do my friends have lists? And more importantly, what is my list? Again, what is my list? So I started writing and then I realized almost everything I wrote on my list I would compromise given the appropriate circumstance. Does that make me easy? (sigh) Back to the list. Given that I have been down this fall-in-love-get-married-live-happily-ever-after road before, I also wonder whether my list has changed. I don't think it has.

If I had to get to the nuts and bolts of my list it would be...

An emotionally mature individual that understands change, has a desire (fire) to be and do better, eager to learn and to share, respectful of things that are different from the norm, welcomes growth, ambitious, wise, loving, forgiving, sees beyond the aesthetics, views his excuses as personal challenges, supportive constructively and lastly, makes me laugh! This must be consistent.

These are all the things I concluded I just can't compromise on. At first my list was definitely that he needed to have a job, be educated, handsome, etc. but then I realized if you have the qualities listed above all that other things I listed before fall into place. Well at least that is how I see it.

This is how I live myself and I truly believe if I continue to live me life holding true to what I deem important then I will attract those qualities in others. Amaretto is always telling me that I attractive negative folks but I think I attract negative and positive personalities. My problem is I have yet to learn how to filter. How do you tell Mr. Handsome peace out, when he keeps calling? He knows the criteria (aka the list) but he does a lousy job at fulfilling them. The problem is he isn't consistent. What is a girl supposed to do with that? Well in the the friend/acquaintance box you will stay. I can't grant you the job just because you are attractive hence why those items don't exist on my list. (sigh)

Much luv until next week... peace :)

1 comment:

Bellini said...

something is definitely going on - 'cuz I'm reading the latest version of the Economist and a reader responds to an Economist article on the topic... what the fcuk does a publication devoted to global macroeconomic policies care to fancy themselves w/ the bullshyt... screw the forces behind this farce!