running cross my mind

it's that time of night.  when the sun has gone home to rest. the moon has come out to play.  you've been working all day.  perhaps out for a night with the girls.  but now you're inside.  home.  alone.  stripped down to your t-shirt and your panties.  crawled into bed.  pulled the covers way up over your head.  and waited for sleep to come. over take your body.  quiet your  thoughts.

of him.

you place the phone on the nightstand.  slide it as far away from your itching fingers as it will possibly go.  you could just turn it off.  or put it in the front room.  but what if someone tries to reach you?  what if someone dies in the middle of the night?  or has the irrepressible urge to hear your voice at 3 am?

like you long to hear his.

that's when the feeling comes on the strongest.

to grab it back.  scroll through the phone book.  select his name and start typing.

hey. how u? what ya doin?
i miss you.
u up?

and then you stare at the screen.  the words.  going over in your mind all the reasons why this is such a bad idea.  or all the ways that this might be just the thing to open up the lines of communication.

but "you know if you pick up that phone, write that letter, send that two way, you gon say some things" that you might regret.  and he might say somethings.  do somethings. plan somethings that you don't really really want to happen.  aren't trying to do.  but something is better than nothing right?  you just want to hear from him. talk to him.  see him. 

or he might not respond at all.  and then you're worse off than you were before you caved to your weaker inner woman.

cause you had said you wasn't gonna text/call/blackberry messenger/gchat/facebook his ass no mo.  and you meant that.  you promised yourself, your 3 best girfriends and baby Jesus himself that you were done.  that it wasn't worth it.  that it wasn't goin nowhere.  that it had been over for weeks, months, years. that you wasn't really feelin him like that to begin with.  so why pass the time or fill the space with something less than? 

and you can't go back on your word.

even if it's that time of the night.  and you're lonely.  and you want to so so badly.  and you could blame it on the alcohol and the hour.

but you can't
you won't
you don't

cause that would be too desparate.  a lil thirsty.  bold and brazen.  un-lady like.  out of order.  and against everything you promised yourself you wouldn't do.

so you reach out, place the phone back on the nightstand. breathe deeply.  close your eyes.  and let common sense quiet that voice inside your head.  let sleep overrule that part of you that wants to give in.

stay strong.  until tomorrow night.

mardi gras redux: top 10 greatest hits

shouts to rum punch for holdin a sista down last week. my apologies for being mia. i was in the middle of my first ever new orleans mardi gras. and folks what a mardi gras twas. this might be my new favorite holiday. good friends, good food, great drinks and non stop partying for a good week straight. loves it!

being a mardi gras newbie, i had nothing to go on but images of boobs and beads. but let me tell you the real real mardi gras is about community, family and showin love for the city. i didn't step foot in the french quarter once and that probably did the trick. i had a great time and looking forward to next year. until then, i'ma reminisce on my top 10 mardi gras moments!

10. baby king king. standing on st. charles avenue watching some of the most beautiful floats i've ever seen with little kids, grandmamas, frat boys, tourists and every other kinda person you could think of.



9. wtf!?! mr. officer. getting a wack ass parking ticket for parking in the the crosswalk. now that officer knew good in hell well that i was nowhere near the crosswalk. he musta been on his 3rd daiquiri or smokin that good good when he wrote the ticket. in any case, i ain't payin it.





8. down goes frazier! have you ever seen somebody fall and you wanted to laugh so hard but you didn't want to make them feel bad. well imagine the exact opposite of that: somebody falls and everyone within a 5 foot radius laughs. hoard. long. while pointing. and more laughing. yeah that's how it went down. this drunken hot white girl bust her ass and almost took down a judge in the process. she came over to say hello to him and tripped over her own sloppy drunk feet and proceeded to grab on to him on the way down. luckily he shook her loose and she went down on her own. good times!

7. breaking my neck(lace). there is something about free stuff that makes folks go crazy. combine free shit with a lil alcohol and that free shit being hurled threw the air and there is bound to be a disaster. during one of the numerous parades i attended (which one, i can't rightly recall) i jumped up for some beads and came down without my favorite necklace. pictured below is all that is left of it. sadness



6. red Beans and Rice. mmm good!


5. Patron Got You in the Zone. taking patron shots with a judge... nuff said.

4. Kicking the Breeze, Hangin' on St. Philip Street! Gettin' to hear my favorite mardi gras song ova and ova and ova again!

Roll with Me, Rock with Me - Rebirth Brass Band

3. All Hail Queen Zulu. I was the first person to score the most prized throw from the Krewe of Zulu, a coconut! And it was gold. snaps in a circle two times!


2. Three's Company. then i got greedy and went for more. these 3 lil guys aren't as fantastic as the golden one but they're cuter. just look at those faces!


1. Corrupting the Youth. since the 5 spot is a pg-13 site i can't give ya'll any other details than this but just know it's numero uno for a reason...

see ya next year! laissez les bons temps roule!