The Real World

I am of the opinion that everyone lives in their own world. Not saying that everyone is sitting in a corner, staring off in space, drooling and having sharp objects kept away from them. But I as continue to get my adult on, I realize that perception is reality, and sometimes what is perceived is false!

For a long time I thought that I was a very understanding person. I thought I was the type of person who tried to understand where someone else was coming from. Or what it was like to walk a mile in another person’s shoes. But as you can see from this, where I was more than sure that he was being a racist and nothing else, maybe I am not “very” understanding at all. My perception of his actions became my reality. I doubt that I was wrong (tee hee)…but maybe I was. The fact that in my world, what I perceived was right has now shaped a whole different opinion of this man. From now on, he will be defined by this one conversation that he’s probably forgot about. Meanwhile, I’m in my cube wondering why people still can’t see me as a person and not just a young Black woman.

And my perception of things has affected relationships with friends and family. A friend of mine was once afraid to tell me that they had accidently broken something of mine because they were afraid of my reaction, they perceived that I would not be understanding. For years I thought my dad was a certain type of person because of something he did, not knowing (until 8 years later) the reason why he did it. If only I had known sooner, or at least been aware of what was really going on, then things could totally be different in our relationship now. Yet for years I threw a pity party for myself. For years I harbored anger and resentment, that now I view as just wasted time, wasted emotions.

And how easy it is for us (especially women folk) to get tied up in our world of emotion because of what we think we see. If your boss doesn’t call on you in a meeting then it must mean you are getting fired. If your significant other doesn’t call you at the same time for two days, then they must be seeing someone else. If you don’t get invited to the party then no one in the world likes you. Not saying anything against women’s intuition, but at times all these thoughts and emotions seem just as silly as thinking the coat rack at night is a monster lurking in corner. The reality is the world is not always how you perceive it to be.

See You In Seven

a'int got a clue?

You want a man.

You seek companionship.

You finally have a date and is dating.

But then you tell the man over dinner that you couldn’t entertain a long distance relationship because he lives four hours away – a measly 4. Considering I live on the east coast, four hours is the distance between D.C. and NY--halfway is Philly. Easier said then done, I'll concede the fact, but it's doable!

And all your kids are grown, except for your 16 year-old.

What are you holding back for?

You even allude to the fact, that chivalry is not for you – because you waiting for a guy to open your door for you is unrealistic – you reckon you’ve been opening your own doors for over decade now, for yourself and your kids…

This ladies and gentlemen is a real tale.
A tale so genuine that I identified with the scenario because I know all types of sistas that fit the bill. But, this particular scenario – comes straight from the Real Housewives of Orange County. Surprise.
And sistas thought they were the only ones that act this way.

Ironically, for the woman, Jeana, she comes from a household where both parents are still married, and her junior sister is happily married. So, her ass has seen up, close, and personal what a functional relationship – albeit- marriage looks like. And all I can conclude is that she doesn’t what a functional relationship for herself. Because why would you say the stupidest things over a classy dinner?

And I kid you not, Steve Harvey is on some morning program, keepin' it 99% funky...

“Do you really want to change your oil?”
“Do you want to take the garbage out?”
“Be’cuz these are things men do!” Ha, tell ‘em Steve!

cheers,

Bellini