Yesterday-after I woke up late (last week it would have been early), missed my chariot (bus drivers truly believe they are gods among men), and fought the hellish fires that ignited the office-I realized, yet again that I am just not on top of things in my so-called life.
I went to Philadelphia on Saturday to do some early campaigning for Baracky…okay, let me stop lying. I went to Philly to visit some friends from the good ole University and we got to talking about LIFE. And the problem with: Black folks, and kids, and the government, and religion, and men, and grape Kool-Aid and with us women folk. It was a super meeting of the minds, four Black women sacrificing sleep to save the world and ourselves. Currently we are all in different places in life, but a common theme among us was that no one (cue Alicia) had it all together yet.
We spoke of that future place, you know the one that we once envisioned we'd be living now, when we would be able to claim that we had it together. Shout “Hey Mamma I made it!” For those who don’t know, togetherness-ness includes: advance education, homeownership, career-not to be confused with a job, fabutron spouse, unlimited funds, a super genius child, fabulous shoes, clothes, hair and nails-all while having the time to save the community with our love, intellect and work in soup kitchens. For further reference think Claire Huxtable But in one way or another we were all togetherness deficient...
And the question was raised are we even qualified to help or discuss the problems of other people whilst we ourselves were still a mess?
This made me think of ministers who steal and politicians who pay for the company of ladies. And how I feel about their previous charitable campaigns in the aftermath of scandal. Were they just not qualified, or simply just human? Is not having it together a justifiable reason to sit silently on the sidelines waiting for the day to get into the game? Is perfection a prerequisite to iron the cape and fly in to save the day? Because what if total togetherness-ness is never achieved? Then what happens?
I don’t know.
I do know I do a lot of talking and thinking and reading and tv watching...and not a lot of action. I have that fear that if I were to give my opinion wrapped up in advice that upon inspection, the recipient might see the wad of gum thats holding me together. I mean really, what would I say if someone asked: “Who the F--- are you?” I surely ain’t no Claire Huxtable waking up late and running to a bus. I’m nowhere near a mountain summit, so who am I to look down and tell people what their problems are and how they should be ashamed? But maybe I am to show that it’s okay to use thread, glue or gum to keep it all together…
See You In Seven
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5 comments:
You may not have the right to look down on others but that doesnt mean you need to be so hard on yourself either, being in your twenties I'm sure you have plenty of time to "get there"...I would say 80% of your list is possible within the next 5-10 years.....KEEP HOPE ALIVE!!!
IntrospectiveGoddess
alan dershowitz was on cnn this morning talking about our obsession with the private lives of public servants and the desire that they be perfect. hence when they fall, they fall hard in our eyes. i think society puts those who step up to do good on a pedestal, perfect examples of what we believe we could never be because we see ourselves as flawed and by extension, unable to help others because of our flaws.
then we find ourselves with a lack of leadership, even a lack of those willing to help others because they feel the way you do, how can i help someone when i am so messed up (or even just a little messed up)? yet if you think about what kind of person you'd like to help you, who you'd like to be an ear to all the drama in your life, a career role model, etc. wouldn't you want someone who is human (i.e. flawed, down to earth, real wit theirs).
the key is your approach. you say "so who am I to look down and tell people what their problems are and how they should be ashamed?" that's just it! you shouldn't look down on others and tell them what their problems are or assign shame to their situation.
this is not our job, as friends, listeners, christians. i was listening to joyce meyers the other morning and she talked about how her hair lady, when she first came to work for joyce was living with her boyfriend "in sin" lol. but joyce was like i didn't condemn her the 1st time she did my hair, or the second time, etc. i invited her to my church and over time talked to her about God's will for her life, how much He wanted to do for her, and slowly the hair lady came to realize that living "in sin" wit that boyfriend was not the business. i was like yes! exactly! ok i've said enough...lol
I know how you feel. it's the idea that because my act isn't together, I can't really tell anyone else anything.
Don't fall into that trap. You can be of service without calling people out or offering up judgment. if you're helping a child improve their reading or math skills.
If you are working at a soup kitchen or if you donate clothes to a woman's shelter, you are making a difference.
None of us will EVER be perfect. That is no excuse to not do anything.
"Fabutron spouse"? LMAO!
We all have something valuable to contribute to our community, to our world. Including those of us who don't have it "all together"... which is probably like 95% of the earth's population.
I agree with mint julep's comment about the importance of your approach. Isn't it always a little comforting to know that you are not alone? That someone else made the same mistakes you did or traveled the same road as you?
One thing I have noticed in my own life is the more and more I give back, the more things keep coming together. You know I am involved with a non-profit org that could always use extra help, right? ;)
@ALL (except DC): Thanks ya'll, message received!
I guess I was just trying to convey how foolish the concept of having it all together is as it relates to real lives and the people who live them is. People can find excuses anywhere. I, by no means am planning on waiting for that perfect day when everything comes together and the are planets lining up and whatnot, because when is that gonna happen? It ain't. And I know it. But sometimes I feel like I sound Cosby-esque in my views while trying to ride through the community in neutral asking black folks to follow.
@DC: LOL! You're a fool! I'm up, I'm up! I hope you know your little comment counts as the session I promised you! :)
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