sometimes – not all the time, women need to shut the fcuk up – just for a minute; so they can rehash their thoughts state outloud to themselves as if performing a soliloquy. And ask theyself, should I share this with the masses?
Exhibit A
Elizabeth Edwards.
During her media blitz to market her book Resilience: Reflections on the Burdens and Gifts of Facing Life's Adversities, you just couldn’t escape her ass. I remember one evening in the gym getting’ it in burning those calories on the treadmill and there she was on CNN courtesy of Larry King. And Larry was goin’ for the jugular and rightly so… don’t think you can come on national television and not be intimately questioned. She was prepared – I’m sure courtesy of her media squad. But, I couldn’t help but wonder what a private person as she claimed to be wrote a book, on the heels of public infidelity in her marriage knowing full well the voyuers are watching…
But then I find myself on a subsequent Saturday obtaining a mani and pedi, when my manicurist handed me Lady O. And lo and behold, as I thumb through pages and land on the contents, she’s there. Elizabeth – you’re everywhere!?!... Oh, and inquiring minds want to know – what else can Bellini find out that she hasn’t heard already. As the transcripts of the interview are printed and I read along… I find myself pitying Elizabeth. Say what you want about Oprah, but she knows how to probe her subjects.
So, Lady O asks “What man holds a baby in the middle of the night, when the baby isn’t his?” Go O, Go O! see, Larry wasn’t smart enough to ask such a question. And Elizabeth quips, “I won’t acknowledge that woman.” Huh? Elizabeth, hurry up and find out if that baby is Johns – so your children know whether they have and additional sister and how ya’ll gonna divvy up assets.
Closing Remarks
Now, there’s much more I could say. But I won’t. I know that this infidelity thing plaguing marriages has me perplexed. Partially, because I don’t understand the reactions of some of these women. However, who am I to judge. In reading Lady O, I found Elizabeth is really a conflicted soul. And perhaps, all women -- victim of infidelity -- really are just that. How can I not pity that?
cheers,
Bellini
P.S. ... Elizabeth asserts that the reason for writing her book is because she already had the book deal and she wasn't gonna let the mistress stop her life. Oh, and the infidelity is an aspect of the book -- not the focal point.
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8 comments:
Infidelity is a SERIOUS issue and a tremendous OBSTACLE in life. It is up there with overcoming a death for me... especially when you have been married for a long time. But I do believe that each case is different and every last one can be over come with more-than-hard work.
In the case of Lizzy being everywhere... how much of this you think is business versus her wanting to tell the world? I can't tell. Maybe this book was therapeutic for her.
I can't tell you how long it took to me say out loud to strangers that I was married but separated.
@courvoisier: so you really think in most instances couples can overcome infidelity -- interesting; Lizzy rationalized the indiscretion as John making one mistake (albeit the most egregious) of many mistakes in their multi-decade marriage, i guess my burning question for wives is can they look at their husband, sleep in the same bed, etc. w/o all future interactions being tainted? this is rhetorical of course...
Yup, I really do think they can. It is a decision that both people must make and it requires VERY hard work on both sides. The thing is not many people are willing to put in that work.
I use to say I could NEVER stay with a man who cheated on me because I could NEVER EVER get over it. But you never know what you are capable of if you push yourself. This is all if you are willing though...
That is the tough question... am I willing? Most times... NO. (chuckle)
Sure you can stay with someone that made a conscious decision to step out but why should you? Anyone that risks all on a one night stand or on an affair is not worth working it out. I know too many women that share their man so that they keep the financial support and eventually they think this shit is the 'norm'. Nope don't buy into that stupidity, it's not the norm you need to measure yourself by.
I've said it before and ill say it again - lizzy, john, rielle and maybe lil john need to work this out on the Maury show! When it comes to one year old maybe lil john, john you are...
Second. I think this was Elizabeth's worse fear realized. She already had admitted that it was hard looking so much older than her husband. And then boom, pow, surprise!
Third. While having an affair is never good. Can we say worse timing ever? Like mothafcuka I been diagnosed with cancer! I might die. You couldn't just ride it out?
I think some women think they are showing resilience when they stay - especially those in the political limelight. And you never know what arrangements couples have made to make the marriage "work..."
@cinco: we must be kindred spirits -- be'cuz i echo your sentiments; however married folks swear it ain't so; i know too many women who won't leave 'cuz of the dividends, etc... i don't get it; i need to conduct a survey to find out how many ppl are truly marrying for love be'cuz they are outnumbered in my book
@rummy: why must you bring maury in their mess? silly nilly! you know that "I am woman, hear me roar" shyt is foolish -- why do political wives feel like they have to prove something; i feel like if you chose to be under the yoke of your husband and he did you wrong-- chuck it up to being burned by the one you love, the other foolishness is only fooling themselves!
@ I'm just saying it would be good ratings for Maury. Well in response to you and cinco, obviously I've never been married, but I really think it depends on the kind of woman you are and your personal resolve. Now I know an older woman whose husband cheated on her and she threatned to kill him - like for real - twice when he tried to be with her. And then she finally left. Heard a story about another woman whose husband flat out told her, when I'm outta town I will cheat on you, but when I'm here, I'll be good. And she said, "ok." I see it as one woman saying there's gotta be something else out there better than this. And the other saying, this must be all I can get and when I look at the whole and ignore that one part, it's pretty good. Does #2 woman come off as crazy and lacking self esteem? Sure. But you never know what people will accept - financial, emotional, spiritual, etc to get through this thing called life...
@Bellini
I need all the kindred spirits I can gather...
@Rum Punch-no real arguement from me. People only present one side to us for the most part, we don't know and in many cases don't want to know what a couple's life really is all about. For some maybe infidelity is the last straw, for others maybe it's verbal/physical abuse or financial ignorance. I think what's most important is that the women in particular know what they're willing to take and for how long. They're no rules but there's nothing wrong with doing what's best for you no matter what.
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