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-The Five Spot

Thursday, June 11, 2009

ho sit down

last week i gave it to the guys and now ladies, it's your turn.
now this is not directed at all the ladies, just the ones who exhibit the following behavior. while the title of this post may suggest otherwise, every woman who exhibits said behavior is not a ho per se. i just like foolish and ridiculous southern rap songs that provide an extra special exclamation point to my posts.

let the truthtelling commence.

as i've said before i love love. i fully support being boo'ed up, for whatever reason said parties wish to be boo'ed up. i will support my homegirl when she decides to get a little closer to a guy who may or may not be good enough for her. i will listen when my sister shares with me how much she likes her new man friend and i will be that shoulder when he dun dun her wrong.

but ladies, sisters and gentlewomen, what's not fina happen is you invoking your boo's name every 5 seconds in otherwise unrelated conversations just for the sake of sending your man's name into the atmosphere.

i can not and will not.

here's how you tell if ya homegirl has exceeded the limits of sisterly relationship support and overdosed on the D:

1. when you're with your chica at some generic place, say a backyard bbq, an afterwork cocktail party, or chillin at the crib, where it's not just you and her having a heart to heart about something serious, look at your watch. note the time. and then count how many times she says her man's name in a 10 minute time period without you first inquiring about his ass or even talking about love, relationships or making babies. if that number exceeds 5, HO SIT DOWN.

2. if you haven't yet met her new dude but you know his favorite colors, his favorite foods and his favorite hip hop song of all time and they only been datin 2 days, please, HO SIT DOWN.

3. if your conversations with her go something like this:
mj: girl did you hear how kanye west broke up with that stripper chic amber rose. he so extra aint it? hasn't been right since his mama died.
her: i know right, my boo told me that last night. kanye need to deal with them demons. my boo say that's why he made 808's and heartbreak, cause his mama died. my boo be knowin girl.
mj: look, the sky is blue.
ho: my boo's favorite color is blue.
mj: oh snap, my mama just died.
ho: ohh no, i'm so sorry to hear that, you know my boo mama died last year so he know how you feel.

HO SIT DOWN!

and SHUT UP BOUT YO BOO.

enough. we get it. you boo'd up. congratulations! i don't need to hear about him and his predilections every 5 minutes. me and you are cool but i really don't need to know what he thinks about the global environmental crisis. you're dating him, i am not . keep some thangs to yourself.

the problem iswomen who are like this rarely ever realize they annoy the shit out of everyone around them. i overstand the excitement of dating someone new or being overjoyed about the (new) love of your life. i might shoulda been told to sit the hell down a few times or two in the past. but lately i've run across a few ladies that needed to be sat down and realized just how sickening it is from the outside lookin in.

you shouldn't surrender all your thoughts and opinions for those of your SO's. and you certainly shouldn't drop his name every five seconds like he invented the spanx. like he ghost-wrote death of auto-tune. just don't. HO SIT DOWN.

please and thank you.

7 comments:

Rum Punch said...

BWAAAHHHH!! Yes, girl! Yesss!! What I hate more is when they don't even give him a name, just, "my boyfriend this, my boyfriend that, my boyfriend this and that." As if they just like rolling that word on their tongues, like reminding themselves that they got a man. Cause you know when you start talking too much shyt about your boo (good or bad) other women get curious. I'm just sayin...

mint julep said...

true be! you aint neva lied. "turn yo head and he bound to get snatched" -- t.i.

Bellini said...

how about when they start talkin' like him, finish his sentences, shyt--speak for him; heffa where is your own identity? the irony is most men love this foolish behvaior be'cuz the woman is hewed to their shyt and they ain't payin' no attention to his other behaviors....hmmmm...

MrsMeany said...

hahahaha...it was like that Seinfeld episode when the chick kept saying: "where is my FIANCE?" "wherever is my FIANCE?"...Elaine got fed up with all of the fiance-talk and said "maybe the DINGO ate your baby!"

i can't stand all of that "my boyfriend" this OR "my husband" that OR any of that "my boo" talk...

first of all: give him a NAME if she told you his name before...why he gotta be referred to all cloak and dagger like??? hahaha
ANNOYING!

Courvoisier said...

Yo Yo Yo! If I didn't know any better it sound like you guys straight hating. (chuckle)

But I know you aint... so I hear you on that! Could we refer to people by their names or code names, please?

Better yet when you see your girl going down this street suggest she get out some more becuase she is laying up under her man way TOO much.

Good stuff...

P.S. But Mint, why she got to be a HO, though? You know what don't answer that... I will post about it next week. Are you muse or what?

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