WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.

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-The Five Spot

Thursday, June 4, 2009

free yourself

i’m a firm believer that when a man wants you, he wants you. until he doesn’t want you no more. and then you, my dear, are just out in the cold, tossed to the side like a $2 hoe. now this change in the wind can happen over many years time or within a matter of seconds. the change could be due to something you let slip out your mouth when your guard was down, thinking that ya’ll was cool like that and you could share with him some of your deepest thoughts and insecurities. or it coulda been when he met someone who was almost as good as you but maybe a little shorter (or taller) and lighter (or darker) depending on the man. could be because he's a punk ass bitch ass punk! doesn't really matter the reason.

he. just. don't. want. you. no. more.

now as a free thinking individual, i can’t hate on this, in principle. a person has the right to love/like who that person wants, when and where they want until they don't want to no more.

but as a woman, as a pisces, who
when she loves she tends to cling, this shit irks me!
makes me want to slap a mf'er dead in his mouth.
makes me want to gather all the intelligence i can about the other and then call up rum punch and tell her how much better i am than that other in each and every way.
makes me want to go home, get in the bed with a pint of ice cream and cry.
makes me want to say muthafucka, i'm the shit, and it was a privilege for you to rock with me, so fuck you!

but after you get alladat out, you take a deep breath, count to 10 and look for the lesson. reflect on YOU and what you can learn from the situation, how you can become a better woman. and keep it movin, cause he damn sure has.

so ladies remember this: when a man really wants a woman he will lock her down. he will make it so that no other man sniffs around. he will let it be known that he’s interested in her and only her. he won't have time for anyone else. his focus will be on you and only you. a good friend of mine said this: “you deserve someone that loves you for you. and misses you when you leave just to go to the store and wants you to be the mother of their children." if at any time you get a hint that he not waiting by that door for you to come back from walmart, it's time for you to start asking questions. breaking dishes. kicking ass and taking names. so you can know. so you can tell him to stop the car and let you out before he slows down to 5 mph, reaches over, opens the door and shoves your ass out.

so you can not want him no more, too!

6 comments:

Courvoisier said...

Whoa there Mint slow down on the whiskey!

“makes me want to gather all the intelligence i can about the other and then call up rum punch and tell her how much better i am than that other in each and every way.” – This is my thesis for next week so I won’t elaborate right now. (Check me on Monday) I have serious issues with this statement. I hope this is your initial response to the situation and/or in defense to his exiting comments.

I would like to believe, men who are attracted to you are attracted to you for you. Keyword = YOU. When you start comparing yourself to others… it is a wrap! Unless you changed (and in not a good way) since you two started kicking it… it’s all about him chica! Which takes me back to your third paragraph, second sentence, I agree.

Com’on haven’t you just hung out with a guy for one or two things you like about him? You know he isn’t the complete package but you like kicking it with him for those one/two things. But let someone else with little more to offer show you the time of day and it’s on. I always wonder why we as women take sh!t so personal. (Don’t get me wrong I suffer from it at times too). Is it because we let these men cross the boundaries?
“he won't have time for anyone else.” To this point, I would like to think it is not about time but interest.

“if at any time you get a hint that he not waiting by that door for you to come back from walmart, it's time for you to start asking questions. breaking dishes. kicking ass and taking names. so you can know. so you can tell him to stop the car and let you out before he slows down to 5 mph, reaches over, opens the door and shoves your ass out.” LOL – that ish is funny but I had to learn the hard way if you really loved him you would be more worried that angry.

Oh… look what you gone and made me do… write a post for a comment.

P.S. I have been contemplating a 5andapossible retreat… anyone game?

mint julep said...

first let me say i'm conceited, i got a reason, cause i look too good, err... yeah i think highly of myself so every man i deal with should love me and only me. kidding kidding...

alas the world doesn't work that way and while a man is attracted to me for me, it might not always be so. "the gift of love is not promised, so at night I still pray you’ll always want this" kindred. twas the point of the post.

my last few lines on the dishes and names is from rihrih's song which i love but you're right it's should be more of a wake up call to sit down and communicate with your loved one rather than a bitch fest.

i'll wait till next monday to elaborate on your elaboration.

i'm down for a retreat, maybe in july round the 4th!!!

Bellini said...

oh minty, this was a lil' heavy...perhaps its the boldface or the thunderous rain continously pouring down; i can't synthesize my thoughts & comment

@courvoisier: i'll just wait for your post on monday...oh, and you know bellini is down for a retreat anytime! the more the merrier folks...

Rum Punch said...

Well I just came in to say - slow down to 5 mph? As if. Sometimes that man will push out the car while he's going 100 on the highway! Like tuck and roll girl, tuck and roll. But in all seriousness, when I read this, I thought of that Mary Wells song, 'you beat me to the punch, one more time...' Yes, I took it old, old school. But 9 times outta 10, you know you need to just be out. But you hang around wanting to make sure you really need to be out. Maybe things will improve? But you know they won't. And he know. He just lets you know first.

The song for those of you who don't know: http://www.imeem.com/artists/mary_wells/music/8TEyz4HN/mary-wells-you-beat-me-to-the-punch/

Bellini said...

@rummy: "tuck & roll, tuck & roll" youse a fool -- you took it back to kindergarten; it's just tears of laughter streamin' down my face.

mint julep said...

@ bellini -- it's not bold just bigger, and mayhap a lil louder than my usual.

@ rum punch -- i second bellini. youse a fool. truth!