WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Oh Spare Me!

I think for the most part…at least if we boil all things down to biology, the role of the male in a species is to protect. Of course they are hunting and spreading their seed, but for the most part-looking at the wild animal kingdom-their responsibility is to protect what is theirs…their families.

The innate need to protect is also found in human men folk. But I think many men are confused about how to be protectors in the modern world. With the industrial revolution, feminism and television telling us what is and isn’t, I think many men don’t know what they should and shouldn’t do when dealing with women folk. The modern world is telling everyone to look out for themselves and “do you” how do men folk reconcile that with their instinctive responsibility to protect their women and children?

I imagine that life and relationships can be difficult for men. Now keep in mind I speak in generalizations and I am fully aware that I have not met every man in the world…though that would make for an interesting world record to set… But it annoys me that some men folk opt for delaying the truth and/or lying in an attempt (often a lame one) to protect feelings. Ugh! It’s humorous that in this modern world some men won’t open a door for a chick but will quickly opt for an archaic ideal of sparing a woman’s feelings by delaying a truth revelation. Saaaaaay what?

What. If my man drinks all the red Kool-Aid and I have been talking to him since noon about how I can’t wait to get me a nice cold glass when I get home. He should not wait until I have glass in hand and have pulled refrigerator ajar to tell me “Oh, by the way babe I drank all this Kool-Aid this morning.” Um. What? Imma gonna be pissed! Now he’ll probably claim that he forgot that he drank it all…which I personally would find hard to believe since we had conversation about it! But the end result is that I am madder than a Charlotte Hornet*
, maybe even calling him a stupid simple simpleton, now that he allowed me to get to the point of almost tasting the Kool-Aid! Whereas If he told me at noon, I wouldn’t have spent the day building up how good that Kool-Aid was gonna taste!

But who cares about Kool-Aid it’s just Kool-Aid? And that’s true, who cares? But let’s just say that you’ve been in a relationship for a few years. Love has been professed. You are talking about chilluns, and houses, and how much of each paycheck will go into a savings account. Then, through the magic of Facebook man’s first lady love hits him up and from his heart flows all those old feelings. Because time has changed and matured them there might be a future for them now. He’s chatting with her from gmail at work and they are meeting for tea and crumpets every Tuesday. I believe at this point a man is conflicted. He of course is happy first lady love is back in his life, but also knows you are looking at houses in the best school districts…and because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings he doesn’t tell you right way that something has shifted and change is eminent.

This men, is Nucking Futs! No matter what, the fact that you want to be with first lady love is going to upset this woman. She will be hurt, angry and will probably hate you-either forever or for a period of time. She might cause a scene if you tell her in a public place…but who cares. That is far better than her continuing to think life is golden while you are making plans with first lady love. That’s life men folk, people get hurt no matter how well we try to protect them or spare feelings.

Honesty is the best way to protect those we care for and the sooner the better. Women folk can handle it! Believe me. Spare the drama and just tell us the truth.

See You In Seven

* I know they are New Orleans Hornets that’s why Charlotte is mad. Get it? Got it? Good.


Courvoisier said...

The fine print is hilarious!

When I was reading your example of the kool aid... I couldn't help but think. If me and RayRay are out on the town and a riot breaks loose (like it did this week on south Broad) I sure hope RayRay mans-up and protects me.(chuckle)

Rum Punch said...

Hmmmm... This may be a little off, but this story amuses me. And I get to reminisce on my time in Paris, but one time I was sitting in a lil cafe and there's this guy and girl sitting across from another chick. And the guy is telling the girl they are through and he's w/ new chick he's sitting with. Oh and they were colored - I feel this point is noteworth. Oh let me tell you this was a priceless moment! She went off. Cried! Stormed out. Came back and cussed em out some more. And then homegirl had the nerve to try to console. Oh lordy. Twas a sight to behold.

But I obviously agree w/ your whole post - men please just be honest - not necessarily w/ every trivial thing like that outfit does make us look fat, but with the important things - like you don't want us no mo'...

Courvoisier said...

I think I have to comment and elaborate a bit more... I KNOW that I am woman enough to handle the truth but I don't think a lot of chics are.

I say this because the type of woman who can't handle the truth always makes excuses for the man that they want, when they know he is not treating them the way they want to be treated.

Sometimes a man doesn't have to tell you... most of the times, us women, we know. NOW if you out right ask this mofo and he lies to your face. Then do your thing!

But sometimes I feel like chics want the truth and then ask round about questions. Like do you see yourself getting married soon? Instead of "Could you see yourself being a serious long term relationship with just me?" Yup leave it to me to take the romance out of it but hey, my heart is NO JOKE!

I think I almost went into my rant for next week's post. (chuckle)

mint julep said...

i agree with courvoisier. some women (and men) can't handle the truth. me personally, i like truth. it's good for the soul. i'm quick to ask a question that most women wouldn't even think to ask. cause i don't like assuming. i need all the facts. maybe it's bc i'm always cross-examining folks on the job. "is you or is you ain't my boo?" he he