WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Seat Filler

Looking For Your Daddy Series - Volume 1, Issue 2

Hey y’all! So as I mentioned in the first episode (as it were) of ‘Looking for Your Daddy’ I have been going on lots more dates. The thing about it though is that these dates or should I say the men are nothing, if not haphazard. I’ll hear from them every few weeks, maybe once a month, talking bout “what you doin’ this weekend? Do you wanna… Go to lunch? Dinner? Movies? Out for drinks? Paris for the weekend – ok that last one is only happening in my dreams.

Rarely is there ever any real contact in between these times. If there is, it's a random text. An IM. An email. But they don't know the ins and outs of Rum Punch's real life. What I be going through on the daily. My experiences as a new homeowner. That I love what I do, but this place makes me wanna holla cause apparently my crazy co-worker is allowed to take naps during work hours. That I'm thinking of starting my own business. And so on.

Now Rum Punch is not one to turn down a chance to get out the house for free. And if you want to pay to enjoy my company, or for me to see a movie I been wanting to see, and for me to have some leftovers, well then it don’t make me no never mind. But this behavior has me wondering – do these nigs think they are truly courting me? Is this what’s hot in the streets now? Or to take it to an even more ignant level, wheredeydodatat?

Everywhere. According to Dark and Stormy.

This is how the modern man gets down, she said. They get bored, need someone to talk to, scroll their phone and then hit up 10 women at a time and wait until someone responds. Cool. Again not a problem cause I didn’t have anything planned for [insert whatever night here].

But I guess now that I’m older and allegedly wiser, I recognize that this behavior is some bull followed by that ish. But because I’m wiser, I know not to invest any ample time into this. I don’t have that inner sqqueeaaal when they contact me. I don’t analyze the text messages. I don’t try to crack codes. I don’t wonder, “wait”, hope, for him to call me. And when he does, I’m pleasantly surprised. Lunch is just lunch. Dinner is just dinner. A movie is just a movie. A walk to the car is just a walk to the car. And I just make pleasant conversation, give em some Rum Punch razzle dazzle, take my leftovers and throw up the deuces. Until the day that something else is otherwise communicated.

But I’m torn. In my heart of hearts, I do expect more. At the same time, I’m not really feeling these guys, so I could care less. And clearly they’re not truly feeling me or else they would bring their A game. Or at least like B+ game. This is just lazy. But sometimes I wonder, just for kicks, should I make them step up their game? Should I tell them their overall behavior is wack? Would that make a difference? But on the other side of that coin, if I were feeling them, I would probably kinda meet them halfway. Call them from time to time and make sure they’re breathing too. Heh.

So maybe this is just the game that single people play. Biding our time until something better, what we really want comes along. Filler people. Filler conversations. Filling meals. I mean you've got to do something to cut the loneliness, right? You can only have but so many cats and hobbies. At some point you're going to want to take someone or be taken out. Want to sit across from somebody and share your dreams, thoughts, and ideas. Want to have a semblance of a connection with another person to help you get through this thing called life. It's human nature, no? It's what keeps us connected to the world and helps us be optimistic about the future - well he/she ain't the one, but that must mean I'm that muchcloser to the one. It's become part of the modern day dating two step. It's understood. It's no surprise. Wheredeydodatat? Everywhere. Apparently.

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!


..... said...
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..... said...

I'm glad I am not the only one who feels this way. Thank you for writing this. I understand...! "Is this what's hot in the streets now" [sigh]

Rum Punch said...

@ ..... - Thanks for your kind words! It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Lol. Yes, it would appear that this is what's hot in the streets now, thus making it hard out in these streets aka the dating world. Ahh well, I try to find the bright side in it all when I'm having my leftovers for dinner. ;-)

dark n stormy said...

Didn't know I would be a cited source.. Lmao.

And to add an extra cent to the convo, just because these bamas are leading us in this "modern day two step" doesn't mean we have to follow... Call 'em out and leave 'em alone! A lot of these guys in our generation are lazy and spoiled. They're not gonna change until we stop rewarding their lameness with the digits/dates/booty.

But I feel you on dinner ;)

Rum Punch said...

@ Dark n stormy - LOL! Of course I was gonna quote you. Yes I agree with your whole second paragraph. and yet your last sentence is what keeps me hooked. But a $20 meal ain't worth my soul, a $20 meal ain't worth my soul. (c) Remixed Common's Retrospective on Life. Heh.