The Dating Ten(ets)

Looking For Your Daddy Series - Volume 1, Issue 3

We haven't done one of these in awhile. So let's get it. Rum Punch's Dating Top Ten! Top Ten what? Observations? Random Musings? Recent experiences that seem to be leading to jaded perspectives? Idk. But it's all totally based off how I feel this week. Things are always subject to change if someone decent comes along...

10. Whoever said dating was fun, lied to themselves. And then to the masses. There is this movie called Half Nelson, about a white teacher who works in the inner city and is addicted to crack. The writer/director can't remember which said he wanted to show the tedium of drug use, unlike most movies that show the euphoria. And wow did they ever - cause by the time he lit that crack pipe for like the 50leventh time, you were ready to snatch it out his hand and take his ass to rehab. Like word? Are you smoking again?! And that's how I feel about dating. On the surface - Fun! Exciting! A new person! Let's just be easy, breezy, beautiful Cover Girl and see where it goes! Oh but get past the bone and down to the marrow - tedium.

9. A Black girl is listening to the gospel station whilst looking for parking to go on a date with a Jewish man. This is not the beginning of a joke. This was me last Sunday – off to try something new!

8. And while Jewish man was buying us drinks, a handsome black man came over to me and tried to holla. Rum Punch looks down at herself and has apparently exchanged places with Sanna Lathan. Looks into the cameras, like word? Really? Cause this neva eva happens any other time. As Black guy chats me up, Jewish man comes with drinks – Black guy looks at me with a quizzical stare, like, “this you?” Snicker from him. Yeah. That’s me.

7. Men should talk more. Or else I’m fina get off this phone.

6. But not too much. Don’t need to hear bout that failed marriage, the houses you used to own, and what you had for breakfast all in the first 10 minutes.

5. I met a guy who I thought was cool. And he actually called! And not that textassness! Say whaaa? Ladies and our one gent reader, we have a potential candidate! Only I have now learned that he’s way older. Like way older than I thought. This would explain why he calls, probably "can't" text. Heh. Sometimes black should crack. Sigh.

4. Internet dating is. For other people. Whose name is not Rum Punch.

3. However, an internet dating site did match me up with a guy who I’m already cool with. Color me surprised and kinda intrigued. Do they know something I don’t? Or did they set us up cause we’re both Black and live in the urrea?

2. I wanna be excited about my next date. Like oooo he makes me kinda nervous, what am I gonna wear, where we gonna go, I might could like him kinda excited. Not I’ma just keep on this outfit I wore to church and then to this play and then lounged around in for the rest of the afternoon and meet him at 7, meh.

1. But until that occurs, I guess I'll keep lighting up this dating crack pipe and go back out there. And have fun! Or something that looks like it. And be open to what the universe brings me! And just do me! And see what happens. And other cliches.

That's my time y'all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

Groovin' hard to this on Monday night is how I caught my old man. Curse me and my love for the oldies...