WE ARE: 5 women navigating our twenties in search of peace, happiness and love (or not). WE WRITE: about everything and nothing. From the insane to the mundane- you will find different paths taken, lessons learned and lives lived. WE THINK: you’ll enjoy it...Warning: Consumption of these views may leave you enlightened while intoxicated.


The View From Here will conclude on Friday, October 1, our third year anniversary. We would like to spend this month thanking all of our readers, followers, haters, visitors, family, friends, and fans for your continued support, encouragement, and comments over these past few years. Thanks y'all!
-The Five Spot

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Know When To Hold 'Em

You say that your favorite restaurant cost $30 dollars a plate. The financially stable, 10 years your senior, “great” older guy your mutual friend set you up with says his favorite restaurant is IHOP. Despite this, you agree to go out on a date with this man. The time and date have been set. But he doesn’t show, nor call. Later he explains that he was detained at church because he’s teaching the youth at vacation Bible school. You accept this apology because who doesn’t want a religious man who cares for the kids?! And so you plan to make a date for later that week for 5pm. At 2 pm on date day you haven’t heard from him to confirm your plans. 7 days later you still haven’t heard from him, but you are still contemplating contacting him, because he did casually mention once that he likes to go on road trips to Kentucky. So maybe…

Put the phone down I shout from the rooftops!

Sadly this is dating tale of a middle aged single mother who divorced her husband several years ago. Now if you are thinking she’s stupid, crazy or at least clueless I would have to agree. All these adjectives aptly describe this family friend who has been looking for love in all the wrong places. Determined to be in a relationship or die trying to get into one and make it work, she’s had her fair share of heartache and headache. But darn women and our Mrs. Fix-It, I can do it, see me roaring, I can turn ashy into classy selves! Because to me, there is nothing in this scenario to hold on to. You’ve been stood up twice, he likes to eat microwaved pancakes and hardly cooked potato hash browns… but because your friend said he was “great” you want to *67 your phone number, call, and see if he answers? Put the phone down!

I know scientists are busy growing people in Petri dishes and finding cures for cancer and such, but could they please do just a study on the emotional plight of the single woman? Starting with our online dating profiles that say we are well read, love to travel and have the cutest hairless cat named “Fluffy”.
Because somewhere there is a reason why we do the voodoo that we do do, or at least why we’ve all gone slightly insane at the altar of men. Why we can accept a man’s excuse for not following through for the umpteenth time, but can cuss our kids because they ask for candy? I think scientists have concluded that’s it just easier to zap a cancer cell than to understand the inner mental workings of one woman, forget trying to figure out more than that!

But this middle aged woman has many dating stories similar to this. Two different men she met online texted to state they couldn’t answer the phone when she called because they lost their voice. Another one, who was recently widowed said that he couldn’t make a date because his in-laws need him to do things at their house. And yet another man from New York said that he didn’t like that she wore weave. I mean really guy from New York? You can’t tell me you haven’t been with a woman who wore false hair before!

But instead of shaking them off and moving on, she keeps holding on and hoping. And just like Old Yeller, I wish someone would shoot her out back in the shed, not because I don’t want her to live, but she’s has gone mad in this endless loop of wondering why he isn’t calling her anymore. And she’s become a danger to herself. Maybe my greater wish is that these men would ball up and tell her straight, with no chaser that they simply aren’t interested. A guy did that to me once, and it hurt like heck-but it was worth every tear. I’ve changed my mind. Scientists should do a study on men and confrontation with their women folk-they seem to avoid it, often-and I’d like to know what’s up with that! I think family friend lady should have known at IHOP that he just wasn’t the “great” man for her. How much easier it would have been to just let it go and walk away.

See You In Seven


Courvoisier said...

Who are you NOW? I L-O-V-E it Amaretto straight up... no chaser! Tell it like it is... not like how it should be. Disheartening situation... HILARIOUS post!

Dirty Red said...

Well....I don't understand situations like this. I mean are some women this damn desperate for a man that they will accept any and everything some nothing of a man does to them? I don't get it. This is a very sad tale, but who is at fault....The woman or the losers she has ended up with? This is the type of shit that makes all decent men look bad, one or two assholes. And one desperate for love ass woman...

MrsMeany said...

Tell your friend these 6 little words and keep it moving:

I do NOT know why women try to make a dollar out of fifteen cents!!! If a man is into you, I don't care WHAT he's doing, he WILL call you...he can be in Bible school WITH JESUS (no disrespect intended) and he will call you as soon as they're done reading scriptures to the kiddies! He can be at the SUPER BOWL and will call you during the wack ass half-time show performance by The Dave Matthews Band (no offense intended to DM fans)...

The bottom line is IF a man is "into" you, he WILL find the time to call. PERIOD. Ladies, stop making excuses for these men that aren't into you and let them be on their way! You're wasting VALUABLE time trying to make someone like you--these fools are blocking you from meeting the man that truly wants to spend time with you.

Rum Punch said...

In my best Lil' Wayne voice, Mrs Meany is, "goooin in!" DAYUM! Church, tabernacle! And welcome back! Ain't nuffin more to say.

MrsMeany said...

@ Rum Punch/Weezy: i've been around, but just exhausted...my 14 month old daughter isn't making it easy for me...but i just HAD to sound off on this topic!!!!

the more I hear stories like this, the MORE I want to GO IN...it burns my biscuit (HA! I love that saying!) when I hear intelligent women make illogical, irrational excuses for triflin' wack ass dudes.

LOOK: if someone doesn't want to spend time with you, they just DON'T. end of story. it's a hard pill to swallow, but it's better than swallowing your PRIDE! she should be THANKING this guy--he is giving her the OUT that she needs to meet someone else!!! he's not MAN enough to just say: this isn't working out...or the "dreaded let's be friends" speech...or don't effing call me anymore--that's harsh, but I'd rather that kind of REAL TALK than having my time wasted! (is it just ME that prefers the HARD, COLD TRUTH than the HOT & MUSHY BULLSH*T??? hmmm...)

he'd rather leave her on a string so that if the "deal" that he's working on--CUZ HE IS WORKING ON ANOTHER "DEAL"--doesn't work out, then she'd be there all waitin' in the wings...all THIRSTY and thankful and appreciative for his raggedy attention and shiz (cuz she's prolly leaving him ALL kinds of messages erry damn day! UGH! making us REAL CHICKS look crazy too!)

Dude A may not want to hang with you, but Dude B and Dude C may want to! sheeeeeeeeit! NEVER put all of your hopes and dreams on one person, man or woman. in the long haul, YOU are all that you have! TRUE STORY.

Rum Punch said...

OMGEEEE! I can't believe your daughter is 14 months! Wow. Heeeee @ all your paragraphs that followed. I think you need to start teachin a class or something! :-)

MrsMeany said...

hahaha..that's what Minty J. said! Actually, I think she said that I should write a book! Please, I barely have enough time to scratch my ass! hahaha

but like I told her: people don't want to hear the TRUTH...so I keep it to myself and share it with my "inner circle"...but sometimes even THEY don't wanna hear it! hahaha

but when they get all "I-don't-want-to-hear-it", I'm like: well then stop telling me the BS! Friends & family talk to each other to get feedback/opinions (at least that's why I talk to friends & family about personal/relationship issues!!!)

I just don't get it...when two GROWN folks are having a conversation and the other states an opinion, it is NOT a LAW. it is just that person's take on things and not meant to be a control mechanism. people can feel FREE to do whatever the F they want after I've stated my opinion! I won't be upset either way (and TRUST that I have enough free will to do what I set out to do. I ask for feedback to get ANOTHER take on the sitchy-ashun, not for someone else to TELL me what to do...OH NOOOOO! but some people feel that since you have an opinion--a STRONG OPINION...HA!--that you are bossy, controlling and opinionated. No, boo-boo! You are WEAK. Do you and Imma do me...hahaha)

I also FULLY understand that sometimes people talk just to VENT, but they need to put that disclaimer out there first so I'll know when to shutty...OTHERWISE, you get the FULL MRSMEANY, NO CHASER. I just GO IN. I'm emotional about my people and I don't like to see them falling for the okee-doke. I'm a ride or die LOYAL friend to the end...You mess with my friends or family, you mess with ME.

but I've learned to STOP going IN because people would rather you co-sign with their wack ass BS and I cannot and WILL NOT do that. I'd rather NOT talk to you about the "touchy" topic (be it your shady man, your trifling husband, your bad ass kids or whatever!!!)

why live in a fantasy world with pipe dream ideas? it's ONLY leading to a world of HURT, and that's NOT the business!

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