encourage yourself

so I really wanted to write something interesting to follow up last week's ode to the grudge but unfortunately kids I just could not muster the strength. you see, I'm in the middle of possibly the most exhausting week ever, thanks to the kind folks known as the louis.i.ana bar exam.iners. they would not be satisfied with just two days of testing or even three days in a row, they had to have a whole week of studying and writing and studying and writing. thankfully, I'm in the home stretch. not so thankfully, I can not squeeze out anything beyond crim law, con law and federal jurisdiction and I know ya'll don't wanna read about that. I will leave ya'll with a little encouragement since I'm sure somebody out there is having a bad day of some sort....

Sometimes you have to speak victory during the TEST!

in my mind

There’s this game I like to play with myself when I first meet a man. I ask myself, Is he *uckable or un-*uckable (with an f)?

Did you think I was gonna say is he marriage material? Yeah ummm no, this is just how me and my perverted, secretly freaky-deaky mind works. It's good to get a lil silly on our View every now and then.

And I know I’m not the only one, am I ladies? *waits for comments from my female readers*

You know, you do the not-so-obvious-but-oh-so-necessary vertical check of the man’s anatomy. Shoulders, chest, pants, shoes! Wipe me down! (c) lil boosie. Generally, a guy gets on my un-*uckable list for one of the following:

1. A belly that’s bigger than mine. This one really needs no explanation. Tubsters need not apply.

2. Unbecoming body odor (or a general aura of uncleanliness). Just like men like sweet smelling women, I like a good-smelling man who looks like he’s seen the inside of a shower/tub within the last 24 hours.

3. Under 5-10 and a half. I’m exactly 5-10 and a half and I need a man that is at least my height in order for me to feel like a grown-up. I like short men…as friends. Yeah it sucks, I know.

Once I’ve done my evaluation, then it’s back to booghetto professional mode. Hi! how are you, my name is mint julep? Blah blah.

The problem with this little game is that the man remains clueless about the impossibility of anything going down. The way I’ve mentally killed his getting-it-in prospects before he’s even had a chance to try out his A-game.

But I’ve been thinking that maybe I oughta do away with this highly unscientific, totally frivolous and what some might call prejudicial little game/test.

Or not.

What do you think? Ladies, are there any physical attributes that would put a guy on your un-*uckable list (if you had one ;-)?