How Low Can You Go?

Hey y’all! How’s it going today? So, admittedly I am getting old. When listening to the radio, I tend to go from gospel, to oldies, then to the other oldies/neo soulish station, then if there are no good options, I head to the stations where hip hop lives. Or dies a slow death. What up Nas. Anywho. I had heard that Usher song, the one with Nicki Minaj, but like a 12 year old was just caught up in the beat. And not really hearing it, ya dig? But being the old person that I am when Nicki would rap, I would be like, “why does it sound like she’s talking to another girl?” And then…

Dark & Stormy sent me this article, titled I Done Had About Enough, and Raving Black Lunatic was talking about how in that said song Usher and Nicki are talking about a ménage a trois. And I was like sayyyy whhaaat? Is that what they are talking bout? Hold up. Wait a minute. No. I immediately responded to Dark & Stormy with a what the hell? I checked with Mint Julep. “Yeah chile. And you gotta check the video,” she said. I headed over to youtube and after finding the uncut video was asked if I were 18 years old. Mercy. I watched. And listened to the lyrics for the first time. And was dead at:

If you're fcukin with me
Really fcukin with me you go get some girls and bring them to me
If you fcukin with me
Really fckuing with me you let her put her hands in your pants
be my little freak

Ummm… No, thank you? I’m not going to go into how I can’t believe that they play this mess on the radio. And I know that I came up in the era of Lil’ Kim’s I used to be scared of the dyck and put it in your mouf in your m-in-fin mouf, and West Coast gobble a dyck Explosive. But um er…those songs from what I can remember were not played on the radio. But that’s not the point of this post. The point is…

This is why these nigs have no damn sense! Rum Punch are you blaming rap music? Yes, I am! Is that fair? No, it’s not. But it’s Friday, my day, so just let me write it yo! Heh. And I’m really not just blaming rap music, but just how oversexed and inappropriate we are becoming as a society. Like how is it ok for someone to say, you know what the music world is missing right now, is in desperate need of at this very moment, what the people really need to hear - a song where I can tell a chick to put her hands in another chick’s pants. A song where I can peer pressure a chick to bring me back some hos. Cause you must not be fcukin' with me if you won't do it. And no one is like that’s crazy? You can’t put that on the radio? M’kay. I weep for these babies. And for us ladies of this current generation for that matter.

Cause a dollar to a donut, some guy will repeat this lyric (or a variation of) to a woman and think it’s ok. I mean cause wasn’t she just shaking her ass to it on the dance floor two seconds ago, anyway? Some girl will get asked point blank if she would ever go to a sex club. Some unsuspecting woman is gonna open her phone and see a text message of his d**k in a box. Like that’s ok. Some guy will "slyly" ask you to have a threesome. Or want you to send him a video of you. Some guy will get his Tiger Woods on and text some foul ass, this muhfcuka done lost his mind, does yo’ mama like you, type texts. I mean did y’all see those Tiger Woods texts? My homegirl and I were joking that he put Kwame Kilpatrick to shame. Kwame was like ‘yo come give me some head.’ Tiger was like, “lemme pee on you” © Dave Chappelle. Like this is ok.*

But apparently it is. Cause who’s saying it’s not ok? I remember hearing Sister Soulja speak years ago in undergrad and she was talking about hip hop's disrespectful lyrics about women and how we ladies be like, “oh, but he [insert your favorite rapper here] ain’t talking bout me. He talkin’ bout that ho’ over there.” Uh huh. Yeah. Ok.

But it’s only a matter of time until you’re that ho. Or approached like you are one at least. No matter how classy you are. No matter that you don't get down like that. Or come off like that. And you don't dress like a ho. Or act like a ho. No matter if you got a degree, a job and you pay a mortgage and all yo' utility bills. No matter that you're a QUEEN and you command respect and he shoulda known better than come at you like that. No matter if your response will be 'oh hell no' and you done lost your mind. No matter if he was just tryin you to see how far you were gonna go. The point is, he's gonna think it's ok to expect you to go low, lower than you know. Oh and then while you're down there, could you just go ahead and let her put your hands in your pants?

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

*And please note I'm not talkin' about what you do with your boo to keep things fun and interesting. I'm talking about strangers. When you have to pause and be like 'nygga didn't we just meet'... Why would you think this is ok type ish...

Left Behind in '09

So every year Barbara Walters lists her 10 most fascinating people of the year and every year I talk about starting a new or life improvements around the week of my birthday, but since this is my last post for the '09 it only seem fitting that I say see you next year in true Courvoisier fashion. I have noticed a friend of mine always uses the phrase I am not taking that into the new year and for this last post, I have decided to discuss who and sometimes what will be taken into the new year.

FOCUS - 5 - FRIENDS - FASHION - LOVE - HEALTH -MUSIC - ART - FAITH

First on the list, Cable... yup! You will not be taken into the new year. You know why? After living without you for a few months and being at one with myself, I realized that you are a true distraction. Which leads me into what will be going into the new year. FOCUS! Focus you are more than welcomed in 20-10. This pass year has been one where I have searched and struggled to find you. And now that I finally have you where you should be I am not leaving you behind.

Last year I was grateful for a lot of things and I have to say the list still remains... all of these things are going into 2010 with even more love and appreciation. Which me leads me to... how blessed I am to be taking 5andapossible into next year. We have all developed a bond and appreciation for each over this last year, one that I can't imagine leaving behind. Writing with you guys has opened up a part of my personality that I didn't even believe existed. Seems like I have been with you guys much longer than September '08. And let's not forget our followers... thanks for reassuring me I was crazy but not within functioning reason. (chuckle)

Friends: This year, I made many friends but not every year do I meet a person who I think will probably be around for a long time. This year in addition to my closest girlfriends, I believe I have found another. Let's just say, if I walk the aisle again... the bridesmaid count just went up by one. (chuckle) 2009 also marks the year that I say goodbye to 5 people who have played a role in my life, Emmaline, Tom, Ta-Gia, Francis and Rodney Jr. All of you parted so unexpectedly, I will love you always. XOXOXO

Fashion: For as long as I could remember, I thought fashion was the ultimate self-expression without having to say a word. I love it! Yes, I know we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover but believe, the outer gives a hint. I will continue to be neat, not necessarily trendy in 20-10, maybe a little bit more expressive or shall I say more CONFIDENT. (yes, that is possible for those who know me.) Self love.

Love, I'll say it again... LOVE, you will not be left behind. This is sad news for 2009 booty calls (chuckle). LOVE rules in 2010! I am going to love new and freely. No more entertaining the crazy for the fun of it. It really isn't that fun... especially when you are focused and these experiences become distractions. I knew you didn't fit from the beginning yet I still would play with you like a cat with it's mouse. It seems has if it has resulted in the same fatal end. Choosing in 2010 not to mislead you anymore. (chuckle)

Health: This year I was able to stay committed to my health. Although the last two months have been trying... I am taking my best practices into the new year regardless. Many don't have this option... I shouldn't take mine for granted.

Music: Without question you are not being left behind. Are you kidding me? You keep me going on the treadmill, you influence my swag, I could go on and on forever. So who from 09 will I enjoy most still in the 10. There seems to be a few givens that came out this year Maxwell, Mos Def and Melanie Fiona. The one that doesn't seem to disappear and embodies the spirit of my recent attitude towards my artwork is Fela Kuti. Fela you have influenced a lot music I already love, it only seems right that you go into the new year. Your rhythms speak straight to my spirit!

Where there is music, there is art! Without any of things mentioned thus far there would be no art for me. They all enable me to create. Hence you will not be left behind art... no more words needed. (There is no shame in this plug... chuckle)

And lastly, Faith. I am taking you into the new year because without you, everything else is pointless!

Much luv until next year... peace :)

Forever!

Albums in the Key of Life

So apparently I be thinking hard on Fridays. So today, Ima try to keep it easy, breezy, beautiful Cover girl! Yesterday, whilst working, surfing the nets, counting down the hours and listening to Pandora, some Floetry song came on. I skipped it. And then said to myself, “self. You have never been a big fan of Floetry.” And then myself responded and was like, “that is soo true. I wonder why that is.” I mean they (the original ladies) made good enough music and I am partial to all things Neo Soul, but for some reason they just didn’t do much for me. I think it was that first song, “I’m the flocist and she’s the songtress.” With the bright ass video with the row house pumping. Mint Julep, do you remember how it would come on Vh1 Soul all the daggone time? Anyway. As usual I digress.

So anyway this got me thinking about which artists I love lots. And then which songs. And then which albums. And which albums I could play allll the time. Even if I just played it out yesterday. And the day before that. You know what I mean? Those albums that just personally resonate with you. Cause when you play it, you know instantly the impact it had on your life, it takes you back and you remember the good, bad, ugly, and the everything in between about that particular moment/time/experience in your life. The albums you could play backwards, forwards, and sideways. When you don’t skip noooo songs. Even the ones you don’t really like, you still let it play. The albums that are classic in your life – even if everyone else is like, “are you still rocking this like it’s 2001/1998/1984?” Hellz yeah! Ok in no particular order, here are some of mine:

Erykah Badu, Mama’s Gun – I didn’t used to listen to this entire album when it first came out. I fell in love with I'm In Love With You and ignored the rest of the album. But then this guy who I was messing with and who used to smoke (and I’m not talking cigarettes) had it on one night and I was like, “what song is this from her album? I never listen to this.” And he was on some, “nah baby you gotta start this from the beginning and let it ride.” And so one day I did. And the rest is history. I can let that joint ride a whole ride.

Love Jones Soundtrack – Um need I say more? I didn’t think so. By the time you get to Sentimental Mood, panties should be hanging from the ceiling fan.

Outkast, Aquemini – From Return of the G, to The Art of Storytellin’, to Rosa Parks to SpottieOttieDopaliscious aka Damn, Damn, Damn, James, this album has some classic Outkast’s lyrics - that if you recite a line to a fan, they are certain to give you the next one. Plus this was also still kind of before all the white people knew who they were.

Maxwell, MTV Unplugged aka Urban Hang Suite Live – Now the ladies at 5 Spot know that I don’t love me some Maxwell. But I do love me that live album. Yes Lawd. Panties should just get thrown up to the sky and never come back down when this is on.

Jill Scott, Beautifully Human – So like every Black chick, I too loved me some Who Is Jill Scott, but I think that Beautifully Human is a more cohesive album. Cause honestly on Who Is, after Slowly Surely, I skip past that magic number and that "protest" song watching me, watching me with her just trying to buy some batteries - to end of the album. But Beautifully Human has some gems: Talk to Me, I Keep, Whatever, that bass line on Not Like Crazy - stays on repeat.

Outkast Andre 3000, The Love Below/Kanye West, College Dropout - I put them together because they came out round the same time and my ex kept both bootlegs in the car. And so I just have fond memories of bobbing my head, talking ish and riding aimlessly through Atlanta. Soo in love. And I mean when else would I actually sit and listen to My Favorite Things except during Christmas time? And I'm sure we all remember being like, "word Andre 3000 is singing now?" And then being like, "and who is this nygga Kanye West who think he's the shyt?" We'd soon find out wouldn't we?

Lil’ Kim Hardcore - Sophomore year of High School – If it weren't for Ms. Kim Jones, how else would I have learned not to be scared of the dyck and the importance of throwing lips to the shyt and handling it like a real bytch? Ahhhh... I'm sure just knowing those lines alone makes my mama proud.

Lauryn Hill aka Ms. Hill, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill – Check the previously written post and know that I used to have it on tape! TAPE! And me, Bellini and Dark and Stormy wore it out our whole Senior year of High School. And then I bought the CD in like 2002 and played it like it had just came out yesterday. There is something about still knowing alllll the words to every single song of an album that came out over 10 years ago. Whew.

That's just a sample. I didn't even get into the old school albums. Or my honorable mentions. So, what are some of your classic albums?

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

Sweet Dream or Beautiful Nightmare

Yet to decide...

Beyoncé - New Music - More Music Videos

Much luv until next week... peace :)

You Rap What You Know

So every once in a while, I end up having one of those conversations about rap music and how people just ain't saying nothing these days, which I have to say is true. The subject matter of most rap music making money or playing on the air waves, is pure garbage. Or maybe it is because this type rap music is just not speaking to what a mature individual would want to hear. Back in the day rap, like Amaretto was talking last week, had such richer topics for discussion. Now we have dudes rapping about how they could make a million without saying nothing on a track. And what's funny is? It did (chuckle)

Need I say more? (chuckle) I think I will.

These guys rap about what they know... could you be mad that? Let's use Soulja boy, my favorite adolescent rapper, for example. What you know, Soulja boy?

1. Crank That - "Soulja Boy off in this oh, Watch me crank it, watch me roll, Watch me crank dat, Soulja Boy, Then Superman dat oh"

Sounds like a couple of boys watching porn with nothing to do, who decide they going to play a silly prank on a chick. So better yet, they write a song about it and seeing that this is the first single, you have to put a dance to that ish!

"Now watch me youuuuuuuuu!" You know you want to dance right now... do it. (chuckle)

2. She Got A Donk - "Do the grown man"

And what is that? Are you acknowledging that you ain't grown. (chuckle) It is so cute that you do still try.

"Get low with it!" Even I know that one. (chuckle)

3. Report Card - "I took out my report card, looked at it all Fs on it, took it back to the teacher and told her throw some D's on it."

You ain't serious? Hot beat but really? D's? Come on. No further comment.


4. Kiss me Through the Phone - "She call my phone like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da..."




This has got to be may favorite. What adults kissing through the phone? Speak up. That is like having sex in the car. I am sorry, I am grown. I only do those things for kicks now. I ain't kissing no one through the phone unless they in the middle east at war and I can't get there on no more than two connecting flights. (chuckle) What he doesn't tell you is why he can't get with you... is it curfew? (chuckle) Let me stop.

"6, 7, 8, triple 9, 8, 2, 1, 2" (chuckle)


5. Turn My Swagga On - "Hopped up off tha bed, Turn ma swag on, Took a look in tha mirror said wassup, Yeeeeea I'm gettin money."

Tell me this is not the ultimate hype song before a party to boost one self. I love it! As silly as it is. Loved it so much, I had to make the remix just for bed time. eh-em "Imma hop in bed, Turn ma swag off, took a look at the mirror said, good nite, yeeeeeaaa, get my nappin on." (chuckle) I am getting old. (chuckle)

"I got a question why they hatin on me" It would seem like that from this post but I'm not. Just pointing out that you are purely for entertainment purposes. You won't be joining me on that lonely island where I can only bring one CD. No-way... Soulja boy you sure tell' em!(chuckle)

And there you go 5 reasons why I just can't take you seriously but I will shake my butt to your music.

Much luv until next week... peace :)

Obamania!

Sailing on a yacht off the shores of Antigua, sipping on some rum punch the captain decided to play this...and I couldn't help but share. (chuckle)




Apparently, this summer Antigua is to rename Boggy Peak, after Obama--Mount Obama.

That is all for now until I adjust to the cold...remind me to tell you about how Reggae makes everything better!

Much luv until next week...peace :)

The Disappearance of Lauryn Hill

As I write this, I am watching Dave Chappelle’s Block Party. And like the rest of the masses, I have one question: what the fcuk happen to Lauryn Hill? No seriously, what the fcuk happen to Lauryn Hill? She got like five babies now! And I guess I should be calling her Ms. Hill if I don’t want to get in trouble.

So as I try to answer the riddle of our generation (I mean f who shot Biggie or Tupac? What the f happen to Lauryn Hill), I think back to the years 1998-99 when Miseducation dropped. Let me tell y’all, out of the crew, I was the only one who had a car (a 1986 Dodge 600 thank you very much) and we rocked that tape (please notice I said tape) HOARD! Forwards and backwards and then forwards again! Remember the lil’ kids in the classroom? L-O-V-E! Remember: I mean it could all be simple, but you’d rather make it hard, girls you know you better watch out some guys some guys are only about that thing, nothing even matters at all, you might win some but you just lost one, when it hurts so bad why’s it feel so good? Lauryn was singing right to us! And to every other woman in the world, I know. But at the time, she was singing just to us. And we felt all her highs and lows. Triumphs and disappointments. Could totally relate to all the “knowledge” she was dropping, making us think and ery’thang, as we began to enter womanhood. I remember us going to see her live at Constitution Hall! Man, Lauryn was on top of the world!

And then she won all ‘dem grammys. And then she just straight disappeared. And then she came out with that second all acoustic album that I have heard referred to as ‘three chord monty’, got sued by her band, had that other baby, then another and everyone was like what the fcuk happen to Lauryn Hill? Let me tell y’all what happened! Come close, I have solved the puzzle!

Lauryn Hill didn’t know a damn thang! And she knew it! She was 23 years old when Miseducation came out. A baby. I think back to when I was 23. Fresh out of college, looking at the world with bright eyes, having hope for the future, possessing what I swore was all I needed to know about men, relationships, marriage, friendships and everything in between. Man, you couldn’t tell me I didn’t have it all figured out. Ha ha ha. How wrong was I? Oh so wrong.

Do y’all think that Lauryn listened to Miseducation like two years later, shit 6 months later and asked herself, “what the hell was I talking about?” And yet she still had to go sing those songs night, after night, after night? No forward movement or progression? Her shows were very packaged. You know how Jay Z has said that by the time his album comes out and he has spit a lyric that everyone thinks is hot, he’s already moved past it? Yeah. I think that Lauryn, like all of us, grew. Grew up. And grew away from what she thought was right, wrong, black, white and shades of grey. And she wanted to put said growth on a record. And the music industry said, nope. Another Miseducation, please. And she couldn’t do it. And she didn’t do it. And then when she finally chronicled her "growth" on the second album, she was accused of having, "she think she soo deep" syndrome.

Ahhhh... Understood. I mean I swear I am providing nothing but pearls and precious jewels on this here blog, but really I'm just talking. Or writing. Once a week. But I mean the potential to get the big head is great, to feel like it's my responsibility to educate the masses and tell it like it t-i-s, and then ask what the class has learned today. It's a fine, fine line between using your life and other experiences to tell a story and hopefully touch someone's life vs. preaching your point of view from the mountaintop until your audience is blue in the face. But it's hard to walk that line. I mean when you grow you want to show it off, flaunt it, two step with it, put it into rhyme, submit it to Chicken Soup for Everybody's Soul, shimmy in someone's face with it. I done grown! And this is how!

And while no one knows what happen to Lauryn Hill, but Lauryn Hill, I think it's safe to say that ten years later, we are all in different places, some expected, some unexpected, some totally wtf? All a little older, with more perspective, knowledge, and hopefully having grown somehow, some way. But some things ain't changed. People still asking, what the fcuk happen to Lauryn Hill?

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday! Enjoy the video!

Can We Sing For A Minute?

So allegedly and apparently once you reach a certain age you have to be a grown-up and be grown about yours. Sigh. Paying bills. Buying homes. OK, at least one home, maybe not multiple. Getting into relationships. Let's pause right here, shall we?

So let's say you've been kickin' it with a nice fella, y'all talk via a variety of mediums, go on dates, have great conversations, mayhap you've gotten phyiscal, physical (if not you've at least exchanged a kiss or two), and most importantly y'all genuinely enjoy each other's company. You're feelin' him and it's clear that he's feelin' you. And you could just float on, float on through life like this forever. Or maybe not. Because there comes a time when you have to have the TALK.

The where is this going, what do you want from me, am I "wasting" my time with you cause I want a relationship and you ain't ready for that next step, talk? Because as much as people proclaim to wanna 'go with the flow', 'live and let live' and other cliches, it's just human nature to want to put "labels" on things or get clarification so you can maintain sanity and a criminal free record.* I mean you don't wanna be bustin' nobody's windows out, flattening tires, hiding in bushes, telling yo' momma's prayer circle to keep on prayin cause you made a mistake and it turns out that last man isn't gonna be yo' huzband, cause you thought y'all were together or building towards something until you saw him out on a date with somebody else. Awkward.

Now in the best of all possible worlds, you should have this talk before (as Steve Harvey would say), you give him the cookies. But you know what happens to good intentions. They come tumbling down like panties. Anywho. So just the thought of having the talk can cause panic, upset stomachs, lightheadedness, night sweats, a burning sensation, because what if you want one thing and the person wants another? And what if you're not even sure what you want? And what if you just want to convey that you're a great chick and he needs to get up on this?

And then on top of the fact that you have to have the talk, you also gotta pick the right time to do it. I mean men are always saying they don't like it when a woman is all quick with the 'where is this going' question. Not to mention that some men don't even like for women to bring up the topic, but we shan't go there today. And so you if you're gonna get your grown woman on and find out the deal, then you gotta do some algebra type equations that factor: how long have y'all been going out, how much do you like him, what do you want from him. Divide that by the year you were born. And then add the number of people you've slept with. Subtract the men who weren't shit. And then you have your answer of when to pounce talk.

But wouldn't it be sooo great if instead of the talk, you could just play songs that have already been written and express everything you already feel about possible relationships?! Oh yes! You could momentarily take off your grown-up hat and coat, make a mix CD, hand it to him, and watch his reaction as each song plays. Maybe you could take it old school and start off with a lil' Chaka to find out what he's feelingAnd then after he confesses that he really does actually like you, then you could hit him with a little Jaguar Wrightand try to decide if you really wanna tell him how you feel. And then once you get up the nerve to tell him exactly how you feel, you can do like Teedra Mosesand let him know that you don't usually fall hard this way, and all you wanna do is him. And then you could hit him with a little Alice Smithand let him know what exactly you like about him and what you want to be to him. And if that isn't enough, if he still needs more, then you leave the ultimate song by Ms. E. Badu herself for last, the song that puts it all out there, yet says just what you've been trying to say so effortlessly, so beautifully, so simply, with three little words: I Want You. And then throws the ball in his court with: So What We Gon' Do?

That's my time y'all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

*Speaking of criminal records, the person who allegedly (that's for you Mint Julep) broke into my car last week has been apprehended. Sadly, he's a juvenile. Thanks for all the nice comments y'all left last week!

Back Down Memory Lane

I was riding around with my Morehouse brother the other day, messing with his ipod and playing DJ when I put on an Earth, Wind and Fire song titled All About Love.

“What is this,” he asked.
“Man, this is the elements,” I responded with a shriek.

Yeah he looked at me like I had lost my mind. Mainly because it’s not a well known song, but also because it starts in song and then ends with some deep, old school, spoken word. So I can understand that he was taken aback. But when you listen to the words, man they were smooth with it back then. OK actually there’s some rambling and they were probably high off something, but there’s still plenty of truth in it. Check some of the lyrics:

Paint a pretty smile each day, lovin is a blessing.
Never let it fade away.
It's all about love.
Build yourself a true romance.
There's beauty that surround you
You deserve, just one more chance, my dear, my dear...

After hearing the song my Morehouse brother was the second person to say to me, “This sounds like something Andre 3000 would do.” Probably so. But it was done 30+ years ago and my mother got me hooked on this song. She loovvveees this song! Ya hear me? I mean she would play it and then go line by line and break this song down. And so I love this song.

And this got me thinking about music and its influence on our lives. There are songs we fall in love with because of our own personal experiences: our childhood, the era we grew up in, our first kiss, falling in love and then getting our heart broken, the hot beats and lyrics, songs that speak to our heart, mind, soul, and generation. But there are songs that we love because someone else loved them first and then hipped us to the game.

Growing up riding around with my parents I was forced to listen to their music. Motown, the Chi-lites, the Spinners, Quiet Storm, the list is endless. With certain songs came squeals, stories and then memories from my mother. Friends of Distinction,-You Got Me Going in Circles, “Oooo this song was out when I first started dating you father.” The Temptations-Papa Was a Rolling Stone, “Ooooo I had a party on the third of September and we played this song!” Anything by Chaka Khan, “Oooo we used to see her perform in the clubs before she was famous.”

I fell in love with her songs, but more importantly I fell in love with her stories. I would close my eyes and envision my parents partying it up all over Chicago, hanging out at smoky nightclubs, falling in love, becoming adults. With each memory I saw my mother as a real person, someone who had a life before children, career, mortgage and real responsibilities. A girl who liked to have fun.

And so there I was the other day, a girl who likes to have fun, riding around aimlessly, listening to one of my mother’s favorite songs and then playing some of my own. Creating my life soundtrack and making my own memories so that maybe one day I’ll tell my kids, “Oooo that’s my song…”

That’s my time y’all! Happy Rum Punch Friday!

An extra treat!

man, music, and the madness

Is it rational to separate a man from his art or are the two inseperable?

At times I find myself thinking about musical talents the world has come to known... and their issues. The two men that come to mind are R. Kelly and Ike Turner. Without dissecting each artists' career, i think it's fair enough to say both men have/had issues with the impact of undermining their careers.

Now as your renaissance women, I'm always fascinated by how foreigners perceive Americans and their culture. During the time of reflection post-Ike Turner's death, I recall a British musician lamenting over the fact that Americans have dissed a rock'n' roll icon due to his personal indiscretions...interesting, right?

And then I got to thinking, if the movie "What's Love Got to Do With It" never debuted would the general consensus on Ike be different? I don't know...which now brings me to the Pied Piper...

I've had a slight indifference about the R for some years now and for the record -- I've never bought his music and I'm not sure if I ever will partially because I don't have much tolerance for people with issues that act like they're devoid of any a pet peeve of mine. With the recent verdict of not guilty bestowed on the R by a jury of his peers, I have to wonder where his career goes from here. Perhaps it changes nothing? What say you?

cheers,

Bellini

Can't Knock It

Happy Monday!

Who ever says that? Folks always wanna wish you a happy Friday or nice weekend... Like the other four or five days of the week ain't special. I'm here. You're here. Why not be happy about it?

Yesterday, Jigga and Mary J. were in my neck of the woods with their Heart of the City tour. I woke up this morning singing "I can love you bet-ter than she caaaaan..."

In keeping with the mood, I'd like to hit you up with this classic.





Holla at you next week.

Tumultuously Yours,
Dark & Stormy

the state of music, vol i.

Can there only be 1 black person at a time per gender that can dance, sing, and entertain. . ?

give me a break. . . and then we wonder why nouveau artists don't get a fair chance to breakthrough in the music industry. Moreover, what about our legends. Say, what you want to say about Ms. Janet, but she is a legend. I mean who can bring a whole concept album like Rhythm Nation with the bold social commentary and the deftness of dance. Oh and by the way her eponymous album Janet -- classic. Yet, every female artist that can two-step beyond the electric slide is a bona fide dancer and is compared to "Pleasure Principle" Janet -- don't think so.

Ahhh. . . yes, I had to take it back.

It seems like every male artist that does a single with a high pitched voice is the next Prince -- don't insult his higness that way.

First of all, can you sing, dance, and write your own shit -- that then makes other artists want to sing your shit and it gives them a hit??? I mean I once had a conversation with my "40 is the new 30" club and we're discussin' Your Highness'. (oooohhh.... I'm bout to take it back) So, I ask them who's version of "Do Me Baby" did they prefer Prince or Meli'sa Morgan. Personally, I prefer Meli'sa -- it had the rawness necessary for a song of that content, but "40 is the new 30" were only feeling his Highness -- I think that's a generational thing.

Let's put things in context for a minute. The same time Prince was out so was Janet's brother -- Michael. How come 20 years ago we could have at least 2 male artists as dynamic and different as Prince and Michael Jackson, yet they both go on to stellar careers? Why, 'cuz the people let the artistry speak for itself. I mean there are dozens of talented artists that can't even crack Billboard's 100. I mean where is Res, Teedra Moses, Eric Roberson, Van Hunt, Donnie??? Where my bands at? Mint Condition -- I mean there must be something in the water of Minneapolis 'cuz plenty of musicians come out of that city. And there's a whole bunch more that I know you can add to the list.

2008, just bring the music back.

cheers,

Bellini

An Open Letter to Calvin Broadus

Dear Calvin,

I feel the need to call you by your gov’ment name cuz you seem to have lost yo gotdamn mind. Yesterday morning I was at the gym, on the treadmill, getting my run on and I like to bust my ass when your new video came on.

Damn. Damn. Damn. Calvin!

What were you thinking? I mean. Really. What were you thinking? What coulda possessed you to make such a horrid video? Now I had heard sensual seduction on the radio and although I wasn’t feelin it enough to upload it onto the ipod, I certainly didn’t hate it in the visceral way that I do now. This video just kilt it for me man. Kilt it.

Again I ask, what were you thinking? bout the only good thing bout it was that you can cut a rug like nobody's business, lookin like somebody daddy in the ol' people club doin the real two step But here's what I think you were up to...

You tryin to do it like my boy, Three Stacks…you know, Andre Benjamin aka Cupid Valentino aka Possum Aloysius Jenkins just in case you aint followin me.

But Calvin, Andre 3000 you are NOT!

Granted, back in 2003, some new initiants to the cult of Outkast were a lil put off by Hey Ya when it first came out. But I been setting sail with a nigga from ATL, southwest that is, it's that southern ces in yo chest that is for a while now. So I knew Dre was somethin’ special. And I knew he could not only pull off saingin and rappin but that he could do that shit so beautifully that folks would be talkin’ bout and tryin to imitate his swag for years to come.

So I guess I gotta take your horribly bad with his oh-so-wonderfully good. I mean, perhaps you thought all you’d have to do was throw in some sweet coochie references and that shit would be all good, we'd gobble it up like popeye's chicken and biscuits.

I thinks not.

He didn’t just throw on some clothes from the 60’s, press his hair out and make the shot look vintage. He had a story to tell, multiple characters, girls who weren’t half dressed, instrumentation, sex appeal, even cute lil kids dancin and most of all ACTUAL SAINGING TALENT! You have none of these.

So stop while you’re behind, way behind and go back to rapping. I love and appreciate you so much better when your verse starts with 1. 2. 3. and to da 4, snoop doggy dog and dr. dre is at da doo. I’d hate to have to X you off my list due to your current creative disaster.

I’ve included a visual aid below for your review. Watch a real genius at work.

humbly submitted,

mint julep

p.s. don’t ever let me catch you in a close up shot with that plastic pipe thingy hangin out the side of yo mouth ever again. it is not sexy. be like t-pain and get a skull head microphone or somethin. we don't want a visual of how you get your voice to sound like roger troutman.

memories of a former band geek

This past weekend a friend and I attended the Big Apple Classic. Hampton and Howard’s mens basketball teams squared off in Madison Square Garden, giving New Yorkers a taste of Black college festivities including a college fair, Greek step show and battle of the bands. I’m personally not a fan of either Hampton or Howard but having spent many a Saturday growing up glued to BET (remember when they showed Black college football games?) or huddled in the cold bleachers watching games live, I was jammin’ right along with Hampton’s pep band. And with every new song they played, my face lit up with recognition.

Hampton made Weezy’s confession bout never having ran from nan’nigga and that today was not the day to start sound like a passionate love song, using the brass horns to pick up on the tune’s melodic undertones. It really did! And dammit if they didn’t pull out the classic…

Heeeeey……heyyy……heyyyy……you talking out the sida ya neck… (ok, that sounded betta live but my real band heads feel me!)

My friend looked over at me and asked how I was able to pick up which songs the band was playing so fast. I gave her that girl-don’t-you-know-who-I-am look and said “I am THE band song decipherologist!”

I had to break it down for her. It’s a well-known fact that Black college bands choose their musical selections from a few specific categories:

1) your local dj’s top 8 at 8, what you hear on the radio 20 times a day, both ballads and hip hop joints alike; or
2) a three song melody comprised of hits from The Elements (Earth Wind & Fire for the uninitiated) or Michael Jackson or Stevie Wonder

Now you will occasionally get the adventurous band that strays from these two categories but 9 times outta 10, this is what they go with. And then I asked her, have you never been to a Black college football game, caught the Bayou Classic on Thanksgiving Saturday, the homecoming parade, something?!?

And her response…That just wasn't my experience!

Note: said friend once confessed to me that she used to be afraid of Black people and large gatherings of Black people. Despite being African-American and growing up in a major northeastern city she somehow got it into her head that she should avoid places where lots of black people congregated, you know that extra hood shopping mall across town, high school basketball games, rap concerts, etc. because of the inherent dangers in such gatherings.

Damn Gina!

I looked at her with sorrowful eyes and wished at that moment that the De Lorean would pull up and take us both back to the fall of 1998 and my most memorable Black college band moment. I can remember it like it was yesterday (cue the music).

We had traveled all night on that charter bus from our little high school in our little city with hearts full of excitement and anticipation. We were on our way to the mecca of Black college bandum…Florida A & M University’s Homecoming.

In my teenage mind, we had made it to the big time. For this was where all things band sprung. Where our drum majors came for band camp every summer, where we got our drum cadences from (duckmouth, papa was a rolling stone, P-Sec, you know!), every formation, every drill, every arrangement was certified gold from FAMU. Even our band leader had gotten his chops on the trumpet section there and came back to the hometown to groom us up in the way that we should go.

We all hoped that one day, we too would be lucky enough to get a band scholarship upon graduation and join the ranks of the Marching 100, riding off into the sunset with our oh-so-sexy boyfriend who just happened to be on the trombone line or if we were especially lucky, a drum major! A girl could dream.

We marched our little hearts out up and down the country streets of Tallahassee and tried to act all grown walking through the yard, imagining ourselves as one of those girls, wearing one of those jackets, having the times of our lives, free from parents and restrictions enjoying homecoming weekend with our gaggle of girlfriends.

And when we finally made it to the stadium, spent from the cheers of the parade onlookers, we couldn’t contain ourselves. Black people as far as the eye could see were taking up every seat in the house, waving orange and green pom poms. Yelling, cheering, and laughing with delight. Just having the time of their lives, eagerly anticipating the halftime show.

And then the signal…

beeeeeeeeeeeeeep beep, beep beep beep beep.

The figures appeared. Tall and proud, the Presidential Nine, busting those 90’s slowly, precisely without dropping a knee. Swinging their batons in hand, tall white hats, sparkling clean uniforms with orange and green tassels swaying with every movement, shiny black boots, and that deadly rattler snaring at you from across their chests.

They death marched, clicking off time with short whistle beeps, reaching the middle of the field, and in a flash of caps, they spin, leap and fall into elaborate splits.

Let the show begin…

Man, somewhere in my friend’s fear of Black folks she missed all this…

In loving memory of my cuzo, a proud Rattler!

Songs in the Key of Life

My first love is music. I begin each day with it and I end each night with it. Music is the language of my heart and I could not imagine life without it. Every person has a soundtrack to their life. Songs that signify a special person, a unique place, a family gathering, or even a broken heart. Today, I am having a hard time putting words together. I am finding difficulty in synching my tongue [and fingers] with the body and soul. Therfore I am sharing with you the current melody that my heart beats.

I hope you enjoy.

Tumultuously Yours,

Dark & Stormy